“Well, isn’t he an international student?”
This is the first question he always receives. As if being from another country makes all immoral actions permissible.
“Have you confronted him about it?”
Several times, he answers. Sometimes verbal confrontation isn’t enough. Sometimes it’s the responsibility of the university to protect its students in a way that would uphold at least some of its promise to keep us safe. But they don’t see it this way. I guess they don’t have to think about it.
I will be quite frank in discussing this topic so as to incite a true and deserving reaction to what is about to be said. My friend, a first-year at Colgate University, came to me with an issue whose moral questionability has garnered barely any discussion in terms of faculty intervention. A sort of issue that, without public recognition, seems it will never be solved. His roommate, a fellow first-year, has frequently expressed an alarming degree of homophobia. My friend is gay, and though this is not a situation any queer student ever wishes to confront, it is not the predicament itself that has surprised him as much as it is the university’s reaction to his concerns.
His roommate is indeed an international student. But the fact that this detail was ever presented by the faculty, specifically CL’s (Community Leaders) and Residential Life, is an issue in and of itself. Because the moral question brought about by these incidents is not why my friend’s roommate is homophobic. This misdirected method of blaming homophobia on some external factor is a popular one. I suppose it is easier for officials to give culpability to an abstract theory than to an individual–after all, abstract theories require no discipline or teaching. No, the real question my friend wishes to bring to public scrutiny is in why faculty addressed the topic in the way that it did.
“We can help you move out as soon as possible, if that’s what you want.”
Of course, that’s not my friend wants. He likes where he lives, and he likes his already developing relationships with others on his floor. In a demographic that makes it difficult to do so, he has put down roots, and is now being asked to tear them up; to move again into a different environment in a different location with different people so that he is forced to start over in his journey through college life.
Allow me to clarify: the first time my friend submitted a complaint to Residential Life, it was due to a host of issues, none of which were homophobia. These included excessive drinking followed by in-room vomiting, loud music and bright lights at all hours of the night, and in more extreme cases, stories from numerous different women about aggressive sexual advances that would raise more than a few red flags. My friend went to ResLife because he was told by a CL that they would be the only ones capable of solving his problem. The faculty solution: move away from the problem, or write up a roommate agreement.
A contract was written and subsequently violated by his roommate on multiple occasions. More concerns were expressed, and my friend was told that ‘they’ would get back to him with another solution. They never did. It wasn’t until a later incident that the situation became more dire. A single sentence that transformed discomfort into fear.
“I hate the gays.”
It was said in passing, almost comically, as if to express a nonchalant opinion about the weather or the economy. This shift in atmosphere, one where intolerance becomes hate and hate becomes violence, is one that queer people find all too familiar. Naturally, new complaints were submitted, this time to a different CL in hopes of bringing more voices to the conversation. More promises were made regarding a new solution, and still one was never presented. The two first-years still live together.
To reiterate, it is not that the accusation is not substantial enough to garner a response. Not only does any complaint to a department whose job is to maintain the well-being of students on campus deserve address, but when it is a topic as inflammatory as homophobia–peppered with a slew of other issues–does it not require special attention? Is it wrong of me to believe that someone whose legitimate concerns about dorm life shouldn’t be answered with encouragement to run away from them? And, more importantly, does it not reflect poorly on Residential Life and Colgate as a whole to see homophobia and answer it with silence? To essentially deem the problem unworthy of an answer? It took less than two weeks for honey mustard to be added to the dining hall options due to complaints. My friend has been facing these issues for two months, and still no changes have been made.
Personally, I am not surprised. As someone who has spent a great deal of his life contemplating the reasoning behind America’s treatment of queer people, I can at least venture to guess why Residential Life and its CL’s acted the way they did because they are not the first to do so. When a problem is shown perpetuated by homophobia and not by a homophobic person, it becomes a non-personal and societal issue rather than one that requires the individual attention of Colgate faculty. This way it can be blamed on simple criteria, like being from another country. It is made easier to ignore.
They don’t have to think about it. But they should. Because queer people have to think about it. In fact, they think about it constantly. It is their collective belief, like any oppressed minority, that silence is never the solution for intolerance. And if Colgate intends to stay true to its image, a university that stands for the acceptance of all students no matter their backgrounds, shouldn’t its faculty agree?
It is my opinion that silencing addresses of homophobia only perpetuates ignorance and violence; and though this opinion can be heavily substantiated, the purpose of this piece is not to bolster my views. I simply wish to ask, to what extent is ResLife responsible for protecting on-campus students? I want to spark a discussion. I am bringing these events to light simply to break the silence, not to fill it with my own voice. My hope is that this way, my friend can at least find the answer to his problem. Because in any case, silence is not it.
