In order to help myself wrap my head around the idea that I turn 20 this next week, I decided to come out of my poetry hole and write an article about it. Officially on the 17th, I will never be a teenager again (Unless I live to 113, but lets be realistic here...) and that's scary. I'm old. My hips have started aching, my frown lines are coming in, and I've found myself grumbling more and more about the generation below me (the youths).
I guess you could say it's more of a quarter life crisis, but instead of focusing on all the things I haven't done, I've decided to take a moment and reflect on all the things I have accomplished these past 20 years of existence. Here's a list in commemoration of 20 years in the same body!
1. Passed School
You might think "well duh" on this one but wait! You don't realize how much of an accomplishment this is. I've been in school for 13 years. 13 YEARS! And I haven't dropped out yet. But all jokes aside, I've accomplished almost all levels of education, I've learned the things I will (hopefully) use for the rest of my life. It's school that has helped me realize exactly what I want to do with my life, it's helped me form friendships that I will cherish equally as long, and it's filled my head with trivia answers that come in handy when watching Jeopardy. As much as I grumble about it, school has actually helped me more that it's harmed me. It's also taken up the majority of my existence so far, so I have to have gotten something out of it, right?
2. Felt Love
Yes, despite how much I say that I regret the two years I spent with that boy, I must admit that there was a point when I loved him; and there was a point when he really hurt me. Looking back on it now, I'm glad it happened. It's made me realize exactly what love should and shouldn't feel like, and I've gotten better about choosing the right people to invest my heart into (simply saying: I've become really picky about boys). And the dating life has become more difficult as I've accepted my hopeless romantic heart (surprise I'm a poet) whilst simultaneously trying to find someone in this hook up culture age. It's fine... I'll just be lonely.
3. Fluctuating Friends
I believe this uncomfortable experience is essential to growing up. As much of a cynic and an introvert as I am, I do believe that friendships are key to a pleasant future. But It's finding the right friends that is painstaking and rather awkward. I've never been one to desperately hunt down friends, but somehow they come and, more importantly, they go. Letting them go is the awkward part; most of the time it's one person letting go and the other holding on (and I'm usually the one who lets go first... awkward). Nevertheless, figuring out exactly who is going to be the one that sticks with you through life and supports all your right decisions is key to your 20 years of existence. I'm fortunate enough to have a good pool of kiddos that I know will stick through life with me. Thanks buds!
4. Left home
I don't recommend this for kids younger than 18, but leaving home was one of the biggest and more influential decisions I've made it my 20 years. With that being said, I moved out the safest way possible: college. That doesn't make it any easier. Leaving for college wasn't fun. The first two weeks of school were absolute hell for me, but now that I'm just beginning my second year, I think I'm beginning to get the hang of it. I even like it (don't tell mom), being on my own and stuff. I'm naturally an independent person, and this almost as independent as it gets. Minus the whole meal plan situation.
5. Found Passion
Ever since I was young I was writing, but it wasn't until last year that I figured out exactly what kind of words I wanted to use. The discovery of spoken word poetry has sparked a whole new fire in my chest that nothing has been able to extinguish so far (including those people who tell me it isn't a real job). Finding this passion has really made these last few years and all the struggles that comes with growing up worth it, and I firmly believe it's passion that can do that for everyone. Finding the reason why you should get up every morning and continue in life is essential, and finding that in my first 20 years has been so fortunate for me. It makes me thrilled to see where these next few years will take me.
