Get these clowns the hell out of here! Package them up, overnight flat rate them to any location as far from here (I guess the whole country considering they are all over) as the UPS planes can take them. Dump them somewhere, the ocean maybe, a random island. Don't care where. I'll even pay for the shipping.
Personally, I'm not naturally scared of clowns. I have zero problem with them being normal people that make balloons and put on fun shows for kids. All well and good. But it's October 4th and we have these deranged, creepy, killer-looking things running around everywhere. College campuses, the woods, car washes, even people's porches. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. And it ain't funny anymore. I get you're trying to have a nice Halloween prank, we all do, but it is not going to stop here. Look at a calendar. We have the majority of this month until the peak holiday, and each night more and more of these psychos are popping up. Actually not confined to the nighttime, some of these freaks are out in broad daylight.
My prediction: this gets waaaaaaaaaaaay out of hand.
We've already heard of clowns going around with guns, machetes, bats, all kinds of weapons. And it's only day 4. Tonight hasn't even happened yet. This is a purge-esc epidemic and it must end. But it's going to get way way way worse before it gets better. Mostly because of one thing: our society's mindset is not balanced, we love extremes.
So these clowns are going to ramp it up, get more attention, more notoriety. What will they do? Who knows. I know for the most part they seem to act alone. But imagine 20 clowns with weapons running around?
The other end of the spectrum is the common people. Still not normal by any means, but not clowns. I've seen videos of clowns getting their a***s BEAT. Mobs of people banding together as if they were going into battle. A lot of people have coulrophobia (fear of clowns), but a lot of other people simply won't put up with nonsense. So they're literally CLOWN HUNTING.
And while I feel bad for the normal clowns that are not harming a soul, the unruly figures that are about are provoking and chasing people, carrying firearms, and generally just overall being sketchy. Not saying they deserve to get hunted, not saying they don't deserve to get roughed up. Just situational turbulence this time of year.
Which is even crazier because (and I really feel like it will) when this whole charade escalates, that's headline #1 trending currently. Not about the Presidential Election, but the fact that The United States of America has a CLOWN problem on our hands.
It's autumn of 2016, and we have a clown problem.
2016 just keeps getting stranger by the minute, and it isn't over.