I have always hated the saying, "There's Plenty of Fish In The Sea" because of how annoying it actually is. Think about it though: yes, there are plenty of fish, but do you want just any fish?

What about your sexual preference? I like guys, therefore: boom, half of the fish are out.

I want someone who is older than me: boom, more fish out.

But not too old: boom, there goes some more.

And someone who is within the United States: boom, gone.

I'm attracted to taller, guys: boom, adios.

Preferably someone who isn't a jerk: arrivederci, assholes.

See what I'm getting at? When you really think about it, are there really plenty of "fish" in this hypothetical "sea"?

Because of my frustrations with this saying, I wrote a poem about it, enjoy.

The Big Blue

Plenty of fish in the sea?

What a joke this must be!

I like boys, you like girls,

regardless of what you prefer,

half of those half happen to curr!

And out of those half are people already taken,

But, let’s be honest, I can’t date you if you don’t like bacon.

So half of that half are single still,

But let me show you if you will,

Some are too old, some are too young,

So can I find the perfect one?

No one too short, and not too fat,

Oh good lord, please don’t let him own a cat.

Some are jerks and some are mean,

So please tell me what my choices leave?

But don’t worry, there are plenty more fish in the sea.