To be honest, I am not sure why I’m deciding to write an article about my perpetual singlehood and don’t know what the purpose of this will article will be. But I do know that I want to make it clear that this isn’t an article of self-pity, and the last thing I want to do is play the role of the “nice-guy” who believes women don’t like him because of his cordiality.

Not only is the self-proclaimed “nice-guy” a fool, he is also an extreme narcissist as he renounces his culpability within the sphere of dating and envisions himself as a perfect romantic specimen living in a shallow, modern dating world devoid of any emotions. And while I might be a narcissist (I think everyone is), the last thing I would do is blame others for my dating problems. On contrary, I would say that there is only one thing that explains my dating problems, and that would be myself.

And to me, this is the only way to evaluate your past or current relationship status, because the only constant throughout your dating history is, well, yourself. Now, I’m not saying everyone who is single is a shitty person and deserves to be lonely. But what I am saying is that the first step in understanding your dating failures, or successes, is understanding yourself. By doing so, I believe many people will come to realize there is nothing abnormally wrong and feel a lot better about their current relationship status.

Now, I say abnormally wrong because no one is perfect and we all have faults, and acknowledging our faults is one of, if not the most, important aspect in understanding ourselves. Once we acknowledge our faults, we can then begin to see how they might be a deterrent in a relationship. Ideally, you’ll conclude that if you have faults that you find are a turn-off in others, you will work on yourself before you decide to enter the dating realm.

However, the problem with this is that most people have a different conception of what is or isn’t acceptable in a relationship. It’s quite possible that what you see as a positive could be seen as a negative quality for other people. This can be frustrating, but if you truly believe that this aspect of yourself is a positive, then it’s for the better not to date someone who doesn’t like you for who you are.

This once again iterates my belief that knowing who you are and remaining true to that self, as well as being honest with others, is the best way to find a romantic relationship. I’m sure this seems quite comical coming from someone who has never been in a relationship but let me apply what I’ve been talking about to explain my dating history.

The bottom line is that I didn’t know what my passions were until about two years ago when I decided to switch majors from engineering to English literature. As I read more and more and become aware of my ipseity, I think I finally have a good understanding of who I am, even if, like everyone else, I am constantly reevaluating who I am as a person. I would even go far as to say I’m a completely different person than I was three years ago. Thus, I completely understand why I couldn’t find love, it’s because I didn’t know who I was and therefore couldn’t even love myself.

Now, this doesn’t explain my past two years, but in examining myself, I can easily find why this might be the case. For example, I’m an anxious person who becomes shy around new people. Obviously, this doesn’t make me a shitty person, but it does make it extremely hard for me to find people I want to date. I often think too many people assume what makes it difficult to find a good relationship is also what makes them an unlikeable person, but this doesn’t have to be the case.

Another reason why I have struggled to find someone is that I’m a judgmental person. And this does, in fact, make me a shitty person (not that I’m that terrible but you get the point). Therefore, if I do find this to be an undesirable characteristic, I should work on becoming less judgmental before I try to date someone.

I guess I still don’t know what the purpose of this article is, but I think people should know that there is nothing wrong with being single. To find a solid relationship, you must know who you are, which is much easier said than done. Then, of course, you have to find someone else who understands themselves. But hopefully, if two people are true and admit their faults, then these two can work to improve themselves together, and in the process, develop a strong relationship.

And while I believe you should work on yourself before dating, I do believe the best way to improve yourself is with the help of others. And if you are able to find someone who wants to help you with your problems, you should probably take some time to realize how lucky you are. Because really, what could be better than a relationship where both people are willing to help one another become better people?