There's No Such Thing As Loving Too Much

There's No Such Thing As Loving Too Much

A different perspective in how love can play into our daily life
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“Everything we do in life is either an act of love or a call to love.”

These are words spoken at a yoga class I took a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been thinking about them since. What does it mean to love? Can we love too much or too little? Is there a wrong way to love?

So often, we are told how we should love: help others, do random acts of kindness, show people you care for them. When it comes to relationships, we are warned against loving people “too much”, against putting too much energy into a person. But what does that even mean? Why is caring considered a bad thing in one instance and a good thing in another?

That is why the quote I began with has been such a source of reflection for me. If everything we do is either done out of love or with the intent to love, then no action we take is separate from love itself.

Therefore, there is no such thing as loving too much, because everything we do is, indirectly or directly, related to love.

I think at times we are advised to guard our hearts in the fear of what could go wrong, in the fear of pain. But Alfred Lord Tennyson once said, “It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.” While this may not relate to the subject of loving “too much”, it does relate to what holds us back from loving with our full heart: in essence, fear of failure and loss. These are not to be feared, but embraced as a part of life.

I propose we look at love a different way. With the mindset that everything we do is somehow related to love, then feeling as if you are giving “too much” or “too little” is simply a trigger to reaffirm and re-intend your commitment to living a life of love.

While it may not be possible to love “too much”, perhaps it is possible to invest excessive energy into one person or situation.

If we spend our time doing so much we find ourselves drained at the end of the day or caring for a loved one, this may be a sign to pause and think about where your actions of love are going.

For me, that stereotypical idea that we are loving “too much” is simply a sign that our energy should be shifted elsewhere, to a different act of love.

For some, this might mean giving more love to themselves. It is so easy to get caught up in helping others that we forget to take care of ourselves. However, if we are not attentive to our own body, mind, and spirit, how can we love that of another? I have always been such an advocate of self love and care because it is something that is often missing from my life.

For others, this reinvestment of energy may mean taking on a new project or passion, or something that brings joy, and in turn, love, into your day to day life.

It should be noted that the feeling of loving “too much” is all relative and varies from person to person. Some may be able to engage in more external actions of love, and others may need more time to do these things. But when we decide to live our life with the intent to love, the amount we do will never be what matters.

Instead, this life devoted to love will be one full of quality interactions with ourselves and others.

I find it so beautiful and reassuring to think about the fact that even the mistakes I have made, every time I seem to mess up, that all of this was still somehow linked to love. When I think about life in this way, it is easier for me to forgive both myself and others for our actions. We are all on this journey together, whether we know it or not. It is time we remember that.

To end with another quote, from a Course in Miracles:

Love. What would you have me do? Where would you have me go? What would you have me say, and to whom?

Talk soon,

Sam

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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The Thank You My Dad Deserves

While our moms are always the heroes, our dads deserve some credit, too.
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Dear Dad,

You’ve gone a really long time without being thanked. I'm not talking about thanks for things like opening the Gatorade bottle I couldn't or checking my tires when my car’s maintenance light is flashing, but rather the thanks I owe you for shaping me into the person I am today.

Thank you for teaching me what I deserve and for not letting me settle for anything less.

While the whole world was telling me I wasn’t good enough, you were there to tell me I was. Whether this was with boys, a friend, or anything else, you always built my confidence to a place I couldn’t build it to on my own. You showed me what my great qualities were and helped me feel unique. But most of all, you never let me settle for anything less than what I deserved, even when I wanted to. Without you, I wouldn’t be nearly as ambitious, outgoing or strong.

Thank you for giving me someone to make proud.

It’s hard to work hard when it’s just for myself, but so easy when it’s for you. All through school, nothing made me happier than getting a good grade back because I knew I got to come home and tell you. With everything I do, you give me a purpose.

SEE ALSO: 20 Things You Say When Calling Your Dad On The Phone

Thank you for showing me what selflessness looks like.

You are the prime example of what putting your family first looks like. If me wanting something means that you can’t get what you want, you’ll always sacrifice. From wearing the same t-shirts you’ve had since I was in elementary school so I could buy the new clothes I wanted, to not going out with your friends so you could come to my shows, you never made a decision without your family at the forefront of your mind. If there is one quality you have that I look up to you for the most, it’s your ability to completely put your needs aside and focus entirely on the wants of others.

Thank you for being the voice in the back of my head that shows me wrong from right.

Even though many of your dad-isms like “always wear a seatbelt” easily get old, whenever I’m in a situation and can’t decide if what I’m doing is right or wrong, I always can hear you in the back of my head pointing me in the right direction. While I may not boost your ego often enough by telling you you’re always right, you are.

Thank you for being real with me when nobody else will.

Being your child hasn’t always been full of happiness and encouragement, but that’s what makes you such an integral part of my life. Rather than sugarcoating things and always telling me I was the perfect child, you called me out when I was wrong. But what separates you from other dads is that instead of just knocking me down, you helped me improve. You helped me figure out my faults and stood by me every step of the way as I worked to fix them.

Most of all, thank you for showing me what a great man looks like.

I know that marriage may seem very far down the road, but I just want you to know that whoever the guy I marry is, I know he’ll be right because I have an amazing guy to compare him to. I know you’re not perfect (nobody is), but you’ve raised me in a such a way that I couldn’t imagine my kids being raised any differently. Finding a guy with your heart, drive, and generosity will be tough, but I know it will be worth it.


Dad, you’re more than just my parent, but my best friend. You’re there for me like nobody else is and I couldn’t imagine being where I am now without you.

Love you forever,

Your little girl

Cover Image Credit: Caity Callan

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To The People Who Stayed By My Side When I Was Down, Thank You

People come and people go; but to those who stayed I could never thank you enough.

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Thank you for hearing me out and wanting to stay.

To those of you who have not heard me out yet; thank you for waiting till I am ready to talk.

Most of all, thank you for wanting to stay.

It has been an emotional few months and I have lost a lot of people in my life and I can honestly say that I do not blame them for leaving. I have pushed a lot of people away and when I was going through my situation I honestly did not think that anyone would want to be part of my life. I knew my family would still be a part of my life but that is only because they are my family. I have been very closed off and some people have reached out to me letting me know that they are here if I ever needed someone to talk to. Of course, I would reply back being kind and appreciative but in the back of my mind, I wonder if they truly care for me or if they just wanted something to gossip about. Now, I am not saying that everyone who asks how you are doing just wants something to gossip about. But, I have recently learned that the people who truly care for you will stay through the good, the bad, and the damn ugly. People who are willing to accept you and your flaws (no matter how bad they are) are people that you want in your corner.

So, to all the people that are part of my past; thank you.
Thank you for wanting to be part of my future and wanting to see me grow. Thank you for giving me the support I needed to pick myself up from the ground and get back on my feet. Thank you for believing in me and for having faith that I could be a different person. Thank you for checking up on me and genuinely wondering if I was okay and not just wanting another piece of gossip. Knowing that you cared for me then and still care for me now makes me cry every single time and when I say cry I mean my ugly cry that no one should be witnessing.

To the new people that know about my past and still wants to be part of my future; thank you.
Thank you for still wanting to be part of my life even though we just met. Knowing that you still want to grow with me even though we've only known each other for a short period of time means so much to me. It makes me realize that I am worthy of the good things in life. I am worthy of good people in my life even if I am changing day-by-day.

To all the people who stayed; I can't thank you enough right now but I hope that one day I will be able to repay you. Not just for staying when I felt like I had no one but for everything.

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