For the longest time in my life, I have always been a person with a hard exterior and an extremely sensitive heart. I've taught myself through experience that maybe it would be better for me to hide behind a wall and pretend that nothing ever bothers me or affects me emotionally. Whether it comes to any sort of relationship or friendship, I've pushed my emotions deeper inside of me until I've felt like I could explode. I felt that sitting in my closet, screaming and crying, reaching my absolute breaking point and boiling over was something I would just have to do every once in a while. I continued to tell myself that it was smarter to act like nothing bothered me and to pretend my feelings didn't exist -- you can't get hurt if you don't let anyone hurt you, right? Well, it simply does not work like that.
Why should I be ashamed of my emotions, why do I feel the need to hide the most important thing about me? If I'm not expressing how I feel, am I even being my true self? My emotions are what make me a unique individual -- after all, we are human, we all feel something, but what one feels may be entirely different than what another individual feels. There is nothing wrong with telling someone how you feel, there is nothing wrong with crying when you are grieving or when you have a broken heart, there is nothing wrong with screaming when you're mad and there is nothing wrong with feeling lost or alone.
Tell people how you feel -- talk to your friends and your family and tell them if something is bothering you, talk to them about how you feel, because that is what they are there for. No one should feel like their emotions are overwhelming and they need to keep them bottled up on the inside, waiting until the timer goes off and you lose all control. Of course, this is all very much easier said than done, I'm trying every day to accept my genuine emotions, whether it is the way I feel about a person or a certain situation. It is better to take your emotions and use them as a way to express yourself because what is more real than your heart and your gut and the way they process your feelings.
There is nothing wrong with having a sensitive heart and soul -- feeling everything will always be better than feeling nothing at all. Storing away emotions is unhealthy, talk about your feelings, write about them, become inspired by them. If you don't like the way something makes you feel, express that, use those feelings for your advantage. There is nothing more genuine than your heart and what it feels and takes in, don't hide those feelings, don't be ashamed, and don't ignore them. Cry, scream, laugh, sing, yell, sob, smile -- do what is real and don't hide or lock away what makes you, you.
