The scariest thing in the world for me is listening to other people describe their life plans. I cannot fathom how people can come into college knowing not only that they want to be a doctor, but the field of medicine they wish to study along with a list of medical schools they plan on applying to. To be honest, I think people like this are insane, but then again, they would definitely think the same of me.
When I tell people I have no idea what I want to do with my life, I am being completely honest. Sure, I have aspirations and goals, but who am I to know if anything I think will happen will actually occur? The other day when I was telling a friend my major, I said, “I am an accounting major … I think.”
It is not like I have started any of the major-specific classes for my so-called major, so who am I to know if I am going to stick with that degree? Then again, I can barely put together a Spring Break trip, but somehow everything tends to work itself out, so hopefully the same will happen with my college career.
One time during my senior year of high school, I distinctively remember being told, “Chloe, you have to be the least put-together person I have ever met.” And I could not argue against that claim, because I knew it was true. I have never lived a very structured life: my parents would always take our family on last-minute road trip vacations, I would always wait until the last minute to schedule doctor visits or haircuts, and to top it off, I was that awfully organized person in your class who would just shove papers into their bag. But despite all of these habits, I am beyond comfortable with myself and how I am constantly all over the place.
I do not have a life plan, or even a five-year plan; to quote Phoebe from "F-R-I-E-N-D-S," “I don’t even have a pla-.” I tend to just go with the flow, and I thoroughly believe that more people need to just accept the lack of control they have of their lives. By giving yourself that mental freedom of knowing you don’t need to know, an individual loses that fear of constantly failing.
At first, not having a plan may seem stressful, but if you allow yourself to slowly figure out how to do this thing called “life," I have found that you accomplish so many more things. By not worrying about my life five years down the line, I have been able to fully explore my current interests and go on those adventures people always talk and think about doing.
This year I encourage you to live more fully in the now, and to think less about the “what if” questions that can constantly fill up your brain. Perhaps this is a sign of all of us going through a quarter-life crisis, but I am so fed up with everyone thinking what they do now only needs to be worth it in the future because what you do now should be worth it now.
So say yes more often to adventures, to brunching, to whatever you want to do. Don’t waste away “the best four years of your life” with panic attacks about not getting an A+ on all of your assignments.
Just do what makes you happy.