should i go to therapy

Therapy Can Help With Not Only Your Problems But FInding Yourself As Well

Our mental health is just as important as our bodily organs.

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Therapy is not a bad thing. It is not a dirty word, or something gross or to be ashamed of. Therapy is a support system and something to allow you that time and area to grieve, cry, yell, laugh, and express yourself in ways you can't anywhere else.

Therapy does not mean you are crazy or need to be medicated. Although if you need medication, by all means, take it, and accept the help you are being offered. Therapy is a place to work on yourself, with no judgment, no shame, and nothing holding you back.

I go to therapy. I am medicated.

I suffer from PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety.

My dad died in 2018, and my whole life fell apart. I was faced with the realization of having only one parent. I came to the realization my father was not always a nice man, and I had to learn how to be me. So many things happening at once, along with going through the grieving process of my father's sudden death.

"Who is Jessica?" my mom, my roommate, and my therapist asked me this all the time. Who am I? What do I want? What do I like? Where do I wanna go? All these questions about me, because it's time to take care of me, and truthfully the answer is; I don't know.

Jessica has always been this person who takes care of others. Cooks, cleans, worries about bills, does her homework and other people's. Jessica grew up a bit differently than everyone else, she grew up not building a personal identity, but building other people up.

I attend therapy every three weeks. Sometimes that is too much to close together, and sometimes but the third week I am eating away at my skin and needing to sit in front of my therapist. Therapy does help, it helps in ways you would never realize it does. Therapy has taught me deep breathing techniques, mindfulness, and it is helping me work through my grief, guilt, anger, and sadness.

My therapist is the one who diagnosed me with PTSD, which helped me understand why I was having these constant vicious, crystal clear, flashbacks. I called them visions, it was the best way to explain it. Like I was living it and seeing it all happen over and over again. But I knew I wasn't there, It was like these 'visions' took over my eyesight of what I was currently looking at. It felt like I was literally being pulled out of my current moment and someone was playing a movie reel of the worst week of my life.

My therapist found that and helps me with that because I talk to her. I tell her things because I feel safe there. If you do not feel safe with your therapist, or feel like you talk to them openly and comfortably that can mean two things.

One, you are not ready for therapy. You have started the process of going, and planted the seed of mental health help in your mind, but you have somethings still holding you back, and that is okay. Go at your own pace.

Second, you have the wrong therapist. My first therapist was an older man, and there was no connection between us. I did not go back. My current therapist appears to be closer to my age when we talk she takes an interest in what I am saying. Not the whole, "that's her job, you are paying her to care." but like she actually understands where I am coming from.

Nikki does not take notes when we talk, so I don't feel like some lab experiment. She has learned the names of the people I talk about and who they are (friends, family, sisters), she does not have to keep asking me who so-and-so is. We click.

Go to therapy, even if you haven't had a traumatic experience in your life. It is a wondrous thing and you will be so surprised by what you will find out about yourself, and how to help yourself.

If you have had a traumatic experience in your life, go to therapy. Get the help you deserve. Our mental health will eventually control our entire like, we need to keep it just as healthy as we do our blood pressure.

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10 Bible Verses for Self Esteem

Sometimes you need to search for inner strength and find your own self worth.
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We all get those days that we just don't feel good enough for anything. Everything is going wrong. For me, I go to the bible to read the words of God. His personal dialog for us is filled with encouragement, hope, and lessons we can learn from. Here are my top ten verses that are uplifting and impacting when at the lowest of lows:

1. Philippians 4:13:

I can do all things in Him who strengthens me.

2. Psalm 46:5

God is within her, she will not fall.

3. Proverbs 31:25

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

4. Psalm 28:76

The Lord is my strength and my shield.

5. 1 Corinthians 25:10

By the grace of God, I am what I am.

6. Romans 5:8

I loved you at your darkest.

7. Psalm 62:5-6

Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on Him. God alone is the mighty rock that keeps me safe, and he is the fortress where I feel secure.

8. 2 Timothy 1:7

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.

9. 1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

10. 2 Chronicles 20:15

The battle is not ours, but God's.

Cover Image Credit: chinadaily

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7 Things I Learned In An Inpatient Therapy Facility

Don't worry about what path others around you are on, make your own and be content with doing so.

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First, I would like to start off saying that there is such a stigma around "Psych Wards" and how they treat their patients. In the movies, everybody is stuck there against their will and they are all running into walls and delusional. This is not the case at all and in fact, most people check themselves into the facility for the help they truly think they need. Even though I did not check myself in, I was brought to the facility and endured a short (but long at the same time) journey.

I could not stop crying when I first got to the unit and honestly, I think it's best that I got all my emotions out my first day. As I was sitting in the lounge area in my paper scrubs I kept thinking that I didn't belong there and they were "holding me against my will." With my best interest in mind, they decided to keep me for 2-3 days and then I would be able to go home. I kept saying that I didn't want to be there and didn't embrace the group therapies for the first couple of hours I was there. It didn't hit me until later in the day that there was no way they were going to let me out if I didn't participate and learn something from this experience.

I started having an open mind and embraced the group therapy and all of the people around me. That is when I started to learn that it's okay to come to these types of facilities and get help for planning out the rest of your life.

1. Take Care Of Yourself First

Don't worry about what path others around you are on, make your own and be content with doing so.

2. Other People May Have Bigger Problems Than You, But This Does NOT Minimize Your Struggle

There are people here that have seen more than you may ever see, but this doesn't invalidate your feelings.

3. It Will Make You Really Appreciate Small Things That You May Not Have In The Facility 

You lose all privacy privileges, this is for safety of the patients and the staff, but don't take an unlocked door for granted.

4. Start Off Every Morning With A Goal 

After you've had breakfast, think about your mood on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the worst and 10 the best), think about a word to describe your mood, a short term goal that can be achieved by the end of the day, and a long term goal for the future.

5. Journal, Journal, Journal

It is important to get all of your feelings out and onto paper. Once you look back to what you've written, it is no longer a barrier in your life, put it to the side and keep fighting for what you want.

6. Get To Know Someone Before You Think You Know Their Whole Story 

7. Take Everything Day By Day, Minute By Minute

Everything can be very overwhelming, however, if you take a deep breath in and just take things as they come to you, then you will be much calmer in the end.

I am not ashamed that I went to an Inpatient Facility. At first, I did NOT want to talk about my experience outside of my immediate family, but then I realized, what is the big deal? I finally went, got help, and now I am on the right track in my life. I am grateful I had this opportunity and I will be using everything that I learned here for the rest of my life.

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