Everyone loves complaining about millennials. Apparently responsibility isn't a characteristic associated with us, which is honestly pretty offensive, but okay then. I have a theory though: our problems aren't our faults (I'm embracing the world's perception of me). Really, though, hear me out. Did you ever notice we do the exact opposite of what we're told? Just think about it. I think I have a psychology thesis here. Want more proof? Here's my evidence:
1. Society: You need to get 8 hours of sleep to be a functioning human being.
College student: What is "sleep"?
2. Society: Work is important, but grades are your first priority.
College student: Basic needs = food, clothing, shelter = money = give me every shift available
3. Society: Drinking plenty of water and eating a balanced diet is key to staying healthy.
College student: *subsists off of caffeine and protein bars*
4. Society: Exercise!
College student: Running to class and sprinting up stairs is about all you have time for.
5. Society: Major in something practical. You need to find a job after you graduate.
College student: *proceeds to major in anything not ending in "-ccounting," "-conomics," "-usiness," "-inance," or "-ology."*
6. Society: Don't spend beyond your means.
College student: Ha. Ha.
7. Society: Finish your assignments as early as possible. Better to be early than anything!
College student: *Actual footage of you submitting your lit paper two minutes before 9 p.m.* (watch the clock)
Do you need more evidence? Didn't think so. If society wants us straightened out, it should start telling us to do the opposite of what it wants. That will work. Probably. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be changing my major to behavioral science, thank you very much.
