I've wanted to work in the Medical field for as long as I can remember. It started out as a genuine passion for caring for people and meeting their needs physically. I wanted to be a nurse, then I wanted to be a physician assistant, and then I progressed to wanting to be a physician. I always wanted to be the next big thing. I wanted to make the most money. I wanted to have the best job.

Then I came to college. Everything I thought I wanted to be changed after about a month, and my whole mentality on my future changed. I wasn't passionate about the dream I thought I had, and I didn't feel like I was even called to a job based in medicine. My dream to one day go to medical school, felt more like a chore, and less like a dream.

That's when it hit me.

Maybe this was just my plan.

Maybe the God of the universe had a different plan for me than I did, and maybe He was trying to tell me to stop trying so hard to force something that He didn't have for me.

I was drained, and all I wanted to do was break down and cry, but something in that moment told me to just sit and be still and let Him speak. So, in the middle of that crowded cafe on campus where I was studying, I prayed. I prayed that He would show me the way in which I should go, and a thought came to my head that told me to read Psalms. I opened my Bible and flipped to Psalms, and the first passage that I saw was Psalm 143. This passage, along with many of the Psalms, is one of trusting God and offering yourself up to Him.

But why is that so hard?

Why do we think we don't need to offer ourselves, or talk to Him about our struggles?

In that moment, on that Monday afternoon, I felt Him say, "Give me your problems, lay down your burdens. Stop searching yourself for answers, my daughter, and search me instead." In my life up until that point, I'd never felt God speak so directly to me, and I crave that intimacy so much so that nothing else can fill that God-sized hole.

I believe He holds my future in His hands, and who I am is no longer defined in what my plans are for my life, but instead what He has for me. It is so vital as I enter college at full-speed, that I understand that my plans sometimes aren't what is best for me.

I am so excited to see what is revealed to me while I am here this semester, and I pray that the intimacy I feel with Him is never lost, but increased as I continue to seek Him and live the way in which He has commanded.