As actresses we hear the tales time and time again. Countless stories of women being degraded by male directors, fellow actors, producers etc. But it really is true that you don't fully understand until it happens to you. Even now in 2017, female actresses are still seen as vulnerable and easy to target. There are directors out there who are aware of how badly we want this, and how we will listen to any piece of advice we can take to better ourselves and our chances. These directors know that they can take advantage of us. Recently I was dealing with a director who loved my work, and just from seeing me perform for under an hour he wanted me to be in a project of his. I send him a headshot just to cover the bases, and I was truly taken back with his response. "I have to admit that your headshot was not all that appealing." He started with. What an opening line. What a casanova I am dealing with here. "Doll yourself up a bit. A little make up wouldn't hurt". He went on to tell me how girls used to wear small skirts and heels and essentially said that I shouldn't rely on my talent, and worry more about how I look. Can somebody show me an actor that has ever been told this? I didn't fight back, I didn't cause a fuss. A big part of me couldn't even open my mouth because I was in such shock. This actually exists and happens on a daily basis. The stories that I always brushed aside, assuming that they were outdated, just happened to me! "I hope you think about what I said" he says in a way and voice that made me so uncomfortable I shuddered. I felt so violated. I just had a man tell me that physically I was not good enough. That although I had talent, nobody would want me if I didn't strap on some heels and apply some make up. Only to demand that I remember those words, as though his opinion of me should have any weight on who I am and how I see myself. "Thank you for your input. I will see you tomorrow." I say not so sweetly before hanging up. I strip myself down in front of the medicine cabinet mirror before turning on the shower. My hair is messy, my forehead has a pimple on it, as does my chin. My eyebrows are bushy since I haven't waxed them lately. I get in the shower and wash away the words that he just tried to cut me down with. I wash away the control he just tried to hover over me. I cry. Not because what he said hurt, no. I cry because even now, women have to go out there and prove that sexism still exists. We have to tell the same people who see women as pretty figurines that they are the problem. We have to bite our tongues to build our resume. When instead, we have to find it in us to say "I will build my resume another way."