Co-author: Sarah Schrader, Zeta Tau Alpha
Sorority girls get a bad rap.
Thanks to ABC Family's "Greek" and Luke Bryan, most people think that, in order to be in a sorority, you have to be a dumb blonde who is obsessed with glitter and drinks Pinot Grigio out of a bedazzled bitch goblet in the middle of calculus class.
While being pretty and drunk will probably help you get through college, it's not what sorority life is all about. Sororities also spend a lot of time doing community service work (the actual kind, not the court ordered kind) and planning philanthropy events. Of course, no one talks about this aspect of Greek Life because it's boring and wouldn't attract attention. No one wants to read a story about a group of sorority girls organizing a clothing drive. They want to read about hazing, scandal and human suffering. So sorority girls end up with a reputation for being drunk, promiscuous, mean girls with Daddy's credit card and a fridge full of Franzia and Slimfast.
But somewhere in whatever little college town you live in, there are girls far, far worse than sorority girls. You walk among them, you live as neighbors, you hold their hair at parties, and you buy each other Starbucks with no intention of ever paying each other back. You see these girls at parties always looking for their friend Becca. You see them walking across campus shouting into a gold iPhone about going paleo. These girls are the worst girls you will meet in college.
1. Girls who caption their Instagram pictures with rap lyrics.
Unfortunately, no one cares that way up you feel blessed. Also, stop taking selfies in your Mazda every time you're at a stop light, I can see the seat belt in the picture.
2. Girls who refer to themselves as "grandmas" because they like sweaters and going to bed early.
You're not quirky and random; you're boring and probably super itchy.
3. Girls who post about their workouts and how healthy they eat on Facebook.
Everyone hates you, and no one cares about your excellent calves except that one great-aunt everyone has who always likes and comments on every post, despite the situation.
4. Girls who have straight across bangs.
We get it — you're artsy and probably do slam poetry.
5. Girls who refer to cities by combining the abbreviations of the city and state (e.g., NOLA or ATX).
It's just annoying. You will never be so strapped for time that you won't have time to say THE WHOLE THING.
6. Girls who constantly brunch.
It's not brunch if you're eating iHop at 11:48 a.m. on a Wednesday. Then, it's just a bad choice.
7. Girls who need you to know how much of a bro they are.
If all your friends are dudes, it's probably because other women can't stand you. And those dudes probably don't like you either because you're using them as Instagram props so people from high school think you have friends.
8. Girls who hate beer.
No one thinks you're fancy because your drink takes 12 minutes to explain to the bartender. Just drink some Bud Light and be happy we even invited you out, Jenna.
9. Girls who wear giant, non-prescription glasses as accessories.
Scarves and tiny purse dogs are accessories. Eyeglasses are not.
10. Girls who need you to know how obsessed they are with pizza and/or cats.
Everyone likes pizza and cats. It's literally bread and cheese and a fluffy pet who likes belly rubs. You're not quirky for liking pizza and cats. When did this even become a thing people said? It never occurred to us to specifically mention that we like those things. It's so redundant. We assume everyone likes those things, there's no need to point it out in some weird attempt to prove how quirky and "not like the other girls" you are. God this makes us so angry. Where's the Tylenol?
11. Girls who constantly talk about how much they love Netflix.
We get it. No one invited you out this weekend so you watched four seasons of "Grey's Anatomy." That doesn't sound fun; it sounds sad. You should be sad.