The F word. Something that some people say far too often, but without regard to what the word truly means. While others never let the word release from their lips, as if it doesn’t exist in their vocabulary or as if it's a part of some strange native language they would rather not learn. What is this word? Forgive.
“I forgive you,” 11 letters, three words, one life altering effect.
Yes, life altering. It’s not one of those things that you do and afterward people tell you “down the road it’ll pay off”, or “it just takes time, you’ll see.” The effects of forgiving someone, or the lack of forgiving someone, is instant. You reap the benefits of forgiving or suffer the consequences of living in chains.
Those three words of saying “I forgive you” are almost identical to the words “I love you.” When expressing either of these feelings, the person saying it has to truly mean it in order for those words to mean anything. You wouldn’t want someone to tell you “I love you” for the first time unless they truly, whole-heartedly, without a doubt in their minds meant it.
Forgiveness is the same way. Saying it before you mean it doesn’t do you any good. When holding off to say the words “I forgive you,” it gives you time to think about the true meaning of forgiveness, as well as time to heal from the circumstance that caused you to have to forgive.
When someone we love betrays us, or even if we betray ourselves, it cuts deeper than any physical pain that could be fathomed. There’s this lump in your throat and pain in your chest that starts to form inside you. It cant be ignored no matter how hard you try, and getting your mind off it is near impossible. Time and forgiveness is the cure all. Although much was taken away from the heartache you received, what is gained from deciding to forgive is far stronger than what is lost.
The thing about forgiveness is that we often think that in doing so we are excusing the person who hurt us behavior, or that pardoning someone’s wrongdoing's makes us weak. Yet in reality it’s quite the opposite. By choosing not to forgive, therefore holding a grudge and being bitter, we are being held captive.
Forgiveness is freedom.
When we hold a grudge against someone who hurt us we often seek some sort of revenge. We think to ourselves “If only I could make them feel the hurt that they bestowed upon me, then I’d feel better.” But holding onto that hate is only holding onto the situation that hurt you. All of the bad memories, pain, and anger, and you don’t deserve to carry that around. It needs to be let go.
Forgiving someone is a choice, and through that decision comes strength. You’ll never know how truly strong you and your heart are until you know how to forgive the one who broke it. Choose to forgive and live a life of freedom, and realize the simple fact that “hurt people hurt people.” This person does not need punishment, they need forgiveness.
Whether your forgiving yourself, or someone else, the beauty about forgiveness is that it sets people free from the chains of regret and despair.
Let the healing begin. Don’t be afraid to say the F word (forgiveness), and prepare for a sigh of relief as the burden of bitterness and hate are lifted from your soul.
