Author. Advocate. Non-Profit Co-Founder. Mother. Professor. Rhodes Scholar. Woman.
Thirteen years ago, Rachel Simmons became a household name for mothers of young girls as her New York Times bestseller, “Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls,” became the platform for anti-bullying campaigns throughout American schools. This hot button issue elicited countless assemblies and workshops addressing the issue, many of which my peers and I participated in.
Despite its presence throughout history, Simmons really shed new light on this epidemic. More than that, she did something about it. She started a conversation that has prevailed for over a decade, holding every party accountable. Typically, trends of bullying don’t start with kids, but stem from adult modeling they observe. Simmons made sure to include grown-ups in the discussion as well, and educated everyone on how to stop these vicious cycles.
A self-described "recovering overachiever,” Simmons studied female aggression during her time at Oxford. Though she later relinquished the coveted title of Rhodes Scholar, she has continued her female-based research, saying, “Female aggression is often made fun of, and I believe that’s part of why we don’t take it seriously.”
During her research for “Odd Girl Out,” Simmons co-founded the Girls Leadership Institute, “a place where girls can discover and embrace the best parts of their authentic selves, learning skills to live with integrity, personal authority and self-awareness.” As stated on her official site, Simmons doesn’t solely focus on girls and hosts co-ed workshops as well.
Earlier this summer, Always® partnered with TED to host a Confidence Summit based on their #LikeAGirl initiative. The campaign, which became a viral sensation in Summer 2014, asks girls what the phrase “like a girl” means to them. Given its history as a way to demean girls, the ultimate aim is to reclaim this expression as a means of empowerment. The summit focused on raising girls’ self-confidence and featured Rachel Simmons as one of five guest speakers.
At the conference, Simmons noted the profound differences between the lack of inhibition in first-grade girls and the self-consciousness seen in girls post-puberty. “They go from saying what they think in class to raising their hands and saying, ‘I’m not sure if this is right, but…’” When I asked Rachel if she believes any girl, her toddler daughter included, is immune to this decrease in confidence, she said, “I think it happens in varying degrees to every girl. It’s important for adult women to model being assertive… and to be connected to yourself. So that means talking about what you feel and what you think.”
I could go on and on about the countless ways in which Rachel Simmons has enlightened so many of us as to the pressures girls face. More importantly, she’s taught us how to rise above them and thrive, despite the odds.
I wanted to take the limited time we had to speak to ask Rachel if she had any parting advice for those of us still mapping out our lives. To this, she says, “You don’t need to have the passion right away, you just need to not be passive in your own life. Don’t rush to get the best job. That will all follow if you work hard, and stay curious, and you pursue what you’re interested in and you’re a nice person, and pay your dues… When you’re in college, everything you’ve done up until that point is so linear. When you leave college, that’s when the bottom drops off. There’s no more linear. You’re going to have to experience some moments of awkwardness…There’s no wrong turn.”
