Selfishness. It's tied into all that we do. As we go about our day, there must be a constant striving to look past ourselves, out and into the world around us. Recently, I've noticed my own selfishness. It creeps up without a sound; it's underlying as it's with me while I walk to breakfast, hurry to class, scrawl down notes at night. Selfishness is so natural.
Recently, I stood, packed in a room full of warm bodies and happy hearts. Each tongue rose up to worship Christ, the voices were so full and eager. But as it does, my selfishness crept up and around again. I found myself wanting to be the the loudest voice, the most creative, talented, and special. But that's such an ugly thought. Being refined hurts, as you're shown the most unattractive sides of yourself.
But in a way, we're like watercolors. Every color is needed to create the most gorgeous of masterpieces. But sometimes, the hand is too heavy, the bristles hold too much water, as the paper thins and cries, trying to hold the color that wants to be the biggest, the loudest, and the brightest. It mutes the other hues, muddles them, and steals their beauty.
Brushes were meant to be held lightly, with accuracy and grace. With this precision we create something wonderful. Instead of bleeding out, the hues blend together and sway into an array of colors, patterns and shapes. Each has its place and its timing to make its debut on the canvas. The colors work well together, they simply fit
As I stood in a crowded room full of those warm bodies and melodic voices, I stopped. I stopped my singing. I stopped my striving. I stopped trying to be the loudest and the brightest. I held back, for just a second. I allowed the brushstrokes of those around me to fill the pages. Different tongues, backgrounds, passions, hopes and dreams; each blended together in something that can only be described as pure. It was something so lovely. A masterpiece was found in that silence.
Do not allow your brush, dripping with vivid color, to blot out the gorgeous array around you. You have your time, you have your place. While art can very much be about the expression of oneself, ultimately it is meant to be seen. It is meant to be looked upon, thought about, and understood. Admire those around you, serve with an open heart. We are merely vessels of a Great Artist. Allow Him to take the tool.
