Prior to this article, I have given examples of how I battle depression, self-depreciation, and referenced it to others that have similar problems as me, but it is a topic that many people still do not understand and do not notice until it's too late.
Depression is a real internal problem and there are so many different types of it. Most common is clinical depression, bipolar depression, and high-functioning depression.
I will throw myself into a group of high-functioning depression. We are people that come to terms with our disease and problems, but we refuse to tell someone about our problem and reluctant to get help. It's simply too much of a heavy stress load to deal with and instead of realizing we have problems, we continue to feel worthless and they want our problems to end.
We are not suicidal, but rather anticipating death, anxious about death, and fear death. The person suffering feels shameful for getting help because they're embarrassed and afraid to speak what is in their head.
Then there are people you wouldn't expect to be suffering but are. This is a case of clinical depression. The biggest and clearest example of this type of depression is someone like Robin Williams.
Would you ever guess that he was depressed and committed suicide in 2014? He was a hilarious actor and won many awards throughout his life, but it shows no matter how big of a splash you make in the world, you could be dead inside. That's what made Williams' suicide so shocking.
Would you ever guess that Chester Bennington was depressed for years? Before I heard Linkin Park's latest album “One More Light" released last year, no I didn't. However, Linkin Park was never afraid to write about humanity. That's why Bennington's suicide in the summer of 2017 was heartbreaking and very difficult to understand.
He seemed like a very friendly guy off the stage. In his interviews, he was always cracking jokes, he had a smile on his face, and he just seemed like a cool guy that you would love to have as a friend and could talk to anything about.
However, as friendly and outgoing as he appeared to be, we didn't know he was facing demons in his life. We didn't know he struggled with drugs and alcohol and was abused as a kid. So when he committed suicide, the whole world was shocked and mourned the loss of a generational talent.
So with all this being said, why is it fine for people dealing with depression to not seek help? Why is depression so neglected and not recognized?
It's because they don't want you to know that they are suffering and they don't want you to feel bad for them. It may sound like they are lying and being harsh to you, but it just means that they feel like their problems should be kept private and you should not have to worry about them.
Sometimes, they deal with their problems head-on by themselves, or they accept the fact they are depressed and will live out their lives facing inner demons. Now that I am in college, I have learned to be more open to people and speak what is on my mind more.
Please don't misinterpret what I am saying. I'm not saying do what I did, I'm telling you that if you ever feel down, just know that there is always someone willing to listen and that depression comes in many different forms.
