IT’S HERE. Many will argue that turning 21 is better than Christmas, Thanksgiving, and heck, every other birthday you’ve ever had combined. From the hours leading up to that celebratory stroke of midnight to the gruesome recovery following your day of fun, here are the typical stages of a 21st birthday.
Stage One: What’s the move?
Now we all know it's most important to go out to the bars the very SECOND you are legally able, therefore, you obviously expect your friends to plan a fun filled night prior to your bar arrival.
Stage Two: Pregame
This will begin with you stuffing your face with carbs to prevent what is supposed to be one of the best nights of your life into the worst night you’ll never remember. Now enjoy the next few hours consuming liquid confidence with your closest pals.
Stage Three: Countdown and Celebration
After a couple of hours of casual drinking games sitting on the living room floor of your best friends’ house, you start to get real psyched and begin a countdown. Screaming “20 MINUTES!” soon becomes “10…9…8…and so on.” Before you know it, you and your entourage are off on a wild adventure to the promised land of the bars.
Stage Four: Bars
The sweet, sweet satisfaction of getting into a bar legally is pure joy and is certainly not overrated. Don’t forget to soak it up and cherish that heavenly moment of presenting the bouncer with your 21 year old ID.
Stage Five: “SHOTS ON ME!”
This is the portion of the night where you become extremely generous with your cash flow. This is because you are feeling high and mighty that you are now able to legally buy drinks. The feeling is normal, but not ideal the next morning when you check your bank account statements.
Stage Six: Someone Should Take You Home
It's getting to be that time where the crowd at the bar is looking smaller and smaller. Coincidently, you are getting to that point where any ounce of sobriety in you is also getting smaller and smaller. Some inciting moment will occur whether it is you trying to crawl under the bar or crying alone in the corner, your friends will know its time to take you home.
Stage Seven: Hangover City, Population: You
Good Morning Sunshine! Welcome to the day of your birth. Too bad if you feel like absolute crap because you have a lot more birthday celebrating to do! So drag your self out of bed, hop in the car, and get yourself an Egg McMuffin and large iced coffee. Maybe pop an Advil or two while you’re at it.
Stage Eight: Sober Birthday Festivities
You are awake and ready to take on the world. Good thing too, because mom and dad are driving up for birthday lunch and presents. Put on a smile because they are ecstatic to take you out for your first beer.
Stage Nine: Birthday Night-Out Round Two
Your closest friends pick you up and drive you to your favorite restaurant for drinks and dinner-- ugh, they are so sweet! After you devour your favorite meal accompanied by rounds and rounds of cocktails, it's time to head back to the bars. This night turns out to be just as wild; thank God you have such good friends to look after you.
Stage 10: Recovery
You should be proud of yourself if you make it to class today. Life will be a bit of a struggle, but you wouldn’t have it any other way because you had a kick-butt birthday celebration. Take it easy on yourself and drink lots of water, your body will thank you.
As a 22-year-old writing this, I can condone that it gets better from 21. Your twenties are the best years of your life, so buckle up. You've got 9 years left to live it up, go get 'em!
