In every friendship, especially between girls, there are unspoken rules that should never be broken. For females, these rules are referred to as "girl code." These regulations are pretty much just common sense, but, apparently, some girls do not have a lot of that. Girl code is the key to maintaining a healthy, long-lasting friendship. In my opinion, there are five major guidelines that should always be followed:
1. Be a trustworthy friend.
One of the best feelings is knowing that you can be trusted and that you trust in return. Having and being a trustworthy friend is one of the main ingredients for a great friendship. Every girl needs a person they can have faith in to keep their secrets. When a friend confides in you with something private, never blab that classified information with anybody, even if it’s to another one of their close friends. It’s not your place to share your friends personal tales. The Pretty Little Liars theme song takes this girl code to the next level by saying, “Better lock it, in your pocket / Taking this one to the grave.” This specific line proves how seriously you need to take being the holder of classified knowledge. Always exhibit your trustworthiness to your girls.
2. Be honest.
Honesty is the best policy. Your opinion is more important to your girl friends than you think. Personally, I go to my friends before doing anything major, for example, when I’m about to buy something expensive or send a risky text. My two closest friends are my crutch when it comes to making major decisions in my life and I depend on them to give me their honest judgement. There’s always that one question that every guy will never answer truthfully, but you can be certain your girl friends will sincerely: “does this look okay?” Never let your squad go out in something you think is unflattering, but let them know in a nice way and help them pick out another cute outfit. This is a daily routine in my life. Anytime I leave the house, even if I’m just going to the store, I send a picture of what I’m wearing to my girls to make sure my clothing choice is acceptable.
Not only is advice critical when it comes to clothing, but also in relationships. My friends have come to me with problems in their relationships and I have gone to them with mine. Honestly, without each other I do not think we could get through some of the things we have had to put up with. We calm each other down and give each other our honest thoughts on the situation at hand. A different point of view on an issue helps to see the resolution more clearly. Without the truthful opinions of my sidekicks, I would be completely lost.
3. Be present.
When one of your friends is feeling down, just be there. Be present. Whether it’s after a break up or they are just in a slump, be there to pick them back up. Recently, I went through boy troubles that left me in a sad state. Immediately, my friends were there. One of my best friends bought me my favorite ice cream and came over so we could cry together. After eating our hearts out and letting out a few tears, she gave me a pep talk and helped me get back on my feet. Without this moment with a true friend, I might not have been able to climb out of the hole I was pushed into. Just like she was there for me, I will be there for her whenever she needs me. This experience opened my eyes to how important just a persons presence is.
4. Be supportive.
The best thing you can be for anyone is a support system. Support your girls in the different things they do. Even if it is not something you are particularly interested in, be someone they can look to for support. This can range from cheering them on in sports, hobbies, or even academics. If you see them struggling in school, ask if they want you to tutor them. If they need to run a mile under a certain time to make varsity, offer to workout with them until they get it, even if you can’t run very well either. The thought of you being there to push them to do better will help motivate them. Without fail, be respectful and supportive of your buddies.
5. Never choose a guy over your girls.
My golden rule for girl code is last but certainly not least: NEVER choose a guy over your girls. A guy might only be temporary, so under no circumstance, hurt one of your good friends over a boy. Dating a guy that is your friend’s ex or someone your friend was really into is a big no. I recently was hurt by a girl I have known since we were in diapers over the boy, who I mentioned previously in this piece had caused me heart ache. After flirting with the guy I was talking to, she started dating him no more than two weeks after this guy and I ended things. Not only did she keep it a secret from me, but she still has not confronted me about it. Not even a month later, they broke up and a fifteen year friendship was thrown away over a boy that wasn't even worth it. From experience, I would advice all girls to realize that a fling is not worth losing a friend over. Even if you do like your friend's ex, it is better to talk to them and get their permission to move forward with the relationship. There are many guys out there, but true friends can be a rare thing to find.
Friendship is the best gift anybody could give you, so do not take it for granted. John Gabriel once said, “Best friends are like stars on a cloudy night, you may not see them but they are always there, through thick or thin their friendship will always shine bright.” I couldn't have said it any better.
