I love you.
That statement can be said a thousand different ways, and hold a million different meanings.
Love. It’s complicated to say the least, but what if loving someone wasn’t all that complicated as it seems?
Throughout the course of our lives, we have received and given love to hundreds of people. We’ve experienced the pleasures, and know all to well the pains that come with love. We’ve distinguished the difference between loves. We can understand the love we have for our pets is different than our love for our parents; loving a significant other is not the same as loving as grandparent. There is a difference between the love between friends, and the love within a relationship.
But, what if all the love we give and receive is only a matter of two types of love?
When we love a person, subconsciously we love someone for one of two reasons: the love will benefit ourselves OR the love will benefit the other.
The most common form of love is Selfish love. Selfish love? How could love be selfish? It’s difficult to comprehend such an ironic use of words, but it is simple.
Throughout high school, I dated a boy who I believe, actually I know, I loved selfishly. I loved him for the emotions he brought me; all the picked arguments, lack of communication, and the countless, purposely induced sleepless nights were picked emotions I thought empowered myself, but instead taught the other how to love selfishly as well. I loved for all the wrong reasons; I loved for the benefit, and the gain of myself. I did not realize how selfishly we both loved each other until after we both took the best the both of us, and the relationship ended.
I “selfish” loved a boy, who, in return, “selfish” loved me. That’s usually how selfish love works. Lying, jealousy, cheating - all actions of selfish love. Selfish love is loving another for the retrieval of their love. You’re actions are based up your own emotions, and little of the other’s.
Selfish love is a love I know all too well.
But, as I know Selfish love, I know what it means to Selflessly love. Selfless love is a love a often find myself questioning often, but understanding fully.
He is someone I use to know; someone I have not heard from in years. But, I can easily recognize the Selfless love we share for one another. We were not officially anything; fate never let us get that far. But the love I received is the love I wish to one day receive again, and the type of love I wish to always give from now on. I should be heartbroken, or even angry for what happened and what did not happen, but I believe I would be selfish if I was. You see, I know what ever we had did not work out, and we were both left with nothing. But, I still want him to be happy.
I want him to be happy, always. I want him to be success and travel the world. I want him to conquer his dreams, and destroy all his fears. I want him to be the very best he can be; I want him to have the world.
With or Without Me.
I loved him, and still do love him, with the benefit of him and his happiness.
Selfless love could quite possibly be the type of love that defines the odds; the type of love that gives the world hope. Selfless love is about love the other whole heartedly. You do not seek for what this person’s love has to offer, you seek what your love could do for that person.
The world is split between these two types of love. I believe the world is considered so cruel and horrible due to Selfish love, simply. If everyone shared the same Selfless love, giving love for the growth, benefit, and happiness of solemnly others, then there would be no reason for war, hunger, or any of the destruction within the world today. As humans, we naturally love. But, before we love, should we ask ourselves:
Is this Selfish or Selfless?