I remember hugging my family goodbye thinking about how I wouldn't be able to hug my mom when I'm having a bad day, go to my grandparents' house, see my friends or kiss my fiancé for 5 months. I'm not going to lie, it's hard. You'll get frustrated, lost and you'll be sad, even depressed at times, but in the end, I promise that it is worth it.
If it was that easy, everyone would be bilingual.
A new language is hard to conquer. “Oh, don't worry, you're smart and you'll pick it up like that,” people say. Well, that isn't how it works. You won't immediately pick it up because you've been taught a completely different language growing up. Not to mention the amount of nerves you have when you actually have to speak to someone in a foreign language. Simple tasks such as buying toothpaste is a nightmare at first.
Cashier: Hola.
Me: *OMG WHAT DO I SAY!?*
Learning Spanish is definitely the most frustrating task I’ve ever chosen to take on. I have days where I just want to lay in bed and binge-watch “The Office.” Since I'm being completely honest, I'm guilty of doing so.
You're just not home anymore.
Living with a host family is nice. I have a host mom, a host sister, a host dad, even a host aunt and uncle, but at the end of the day, I miss my real family. That's the hardest part. I still haven't gotten used to this, and quite honestly I don't think I will. However, I have learned to deal with it.
You'll miss out on family events and holidays. You don't think about when preparing for your trip, it's just something that hits you when already arrived -- miss an aunt's birthday and won't be there to wear goofy Halloween costumes with your best friends. Don't assume you'll be too busy to be sad, because there are some days where you will wish you were sitting on your couch with your favorite blanket.
On days when I look at my phone and see pictures of my nephew learning something new or my finances birthday party, I wish I could be there, but I remember I did this for a reason: to grow in my education and as a person. I took a step out of my comfort zone and even on the days I'm sad, I don't regret my decision.
It’s worth it. I promise.
You'll meet friends because you really don't have another option. You'll get lost in the city together and take a funny picture that will make you laugh until your stomach hurts. You'll butcher the language together and realize that it's okay to make mistakes. You'll go dancing and try to convince your friend that the sprinkler just isn’t working out. It's people like that who will make your sucky days suck a little less because, at the end of the day, you're not alone. It´s not home, but that is kind of the point.
There will be more birthdays and Halloweens, so enjoy the adventure.
I am.
