Throughout my life, I have heard the expression “being just right” used many times. It’s been used to describe Goldilocks’ porridge, your tea, or if you need to add salt to your pesto sauce. But more often than not, lately I’ve heard the expression “being just right” to describe something most women my age think about: “Mr. Right”.

Who is Mr. Right you may ask? He’s not real in the way you think he is. He’s an idea forced into our heads by society for generations. From Disney movies throwing “perfect” princes into our faces to these “sexy and attractive” love interests in television and movies, society has portrayed Mr. Right to be tall, handsome, strong, romantic, brave, courageous, sensitive, gentle, kind, warmhearted, friendly, selfless, and most importantly—single. In other words, flawless perfection that can be taken up into open arms almost immediately.

But ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry to disappoint, but that ideal doesn’t exist.

As much as we may want to believe that man is out there somewhere, chances are he’s just a fabrication of your imagination. Because no one is perfect. Not you, nor me, because I know I’m definitely not. And thank God, because that would be so boring. Flaws are what shapes us, and in some people’s cases, defines us. Because guess what?

Perfection doesn't exist!

So you’re probably wondering how you find him. Well, Mr. Right doesn’t happen overnight. In Pokémon terms, you catch him as a Dratini, a Pokémon that can take a very long time to train. if you stick with him long enough, he’ll evolve into a Dragonair and finally, a Dragonite. Relationships are exactly the same minus the one-sided forceful training. Rather, in a relationship you must develop it together to be the best you can be.

So how do you find Mr. Right? Well, Mr. Right can be introduced to you as someone known as a Mr. Right Now. Some of you know what I’m talking about. Sometimes you can actively seek him out, but the best relationships just happen on their own. Just live your life and you'll find him because he can be anywhere.

You may find Mr. Right Now at a bar, in your science class, or the floor above your dorm. You and he have mutual interests, such as being Bears fans who hate Packers or vice versa, enjoying ultimate Frisbee, and having an avid interest in collecting Pokémon cards. You have a connection, but you’re not fond of how he parts his hair.

You may wish he was a little taller than you. Yet you give him a chance because you both like each other. And, as Sheldon Cooper referenced Schrodinger’s Cat in the Season 1 finale of The Big Bang Theory, you never know what a relationship entails until you open the box. So if you think this potential love interest is a good person, go for it.

So you start dating him. For the first four months or so you’re just along for the ride. Gradually over time, you grow close and you discover he’s a superb human being. He knows how to fix your car, he’ll happily buy you tampons, and he’ll hold you as you cry over Game of Thrones. Yet at the same time, you are disgusted by how often he changes his underwear, how stubborn he is, and how he hogs the television to play his Xbox 1 games.

Yet, as you discover, you love this man. As frustrating as he can be, you’re happy that you’re together. You can’t imagine your life without that goofy smile. Even that bad haircut you’ve grown to love. You’re so comfortable around him that he’ll watch you eat an entire pizza by yourself. In fact, he’ll think that’s really cool and give you celebratory ice cream sundae. And just as you’ve accepted the bad about him, he’s accepted that you’re too much of a morning person who buys too many shoes.

That, right there, is Mr. Right. A person who accepts everything about you, even the bad stuff who you are willing to do the same for. Everything about him nor you is perfect. And you’re okay with it. You better each other and hope to spend the rest of your lives together. Ultimately, the relationship formula is 1 + 1 = 2; two people who love another, even after the honeymoon phase is over and will stand by each other at the worst of the times.

And then, only then, can a “Mr. Right Now” be your “Mr. Right”.