A little while ago, I went out with some friends to a local bar. At the time, we were all single and excited about the possibilities of the night. We spent an hour in front of the mirror smoothing our untamed hair, perfecting our smokey eyes and spritzing just the right amount of someone's “not too fruity” perfume on. Before we walked out of the door, a quick snap was taken (if you don’t show everyone that you’re going out, did you even go?) And away we went, whisked off into the night by our horse-drawn chariot called Uber.
After about an hour or so of gossip by the bar, a perspective male decided that he was brave enough to approach one of my friends. He casually walked up and asked her if she knew what part of town they were in because he was “lost.” She answered, and then to be polite asked him where he was from. He replied that he lived right up the street, but couldn’t think of a better way to strike up a conversation with her (not gonna lie, that was pretty clever). He asked for her number and proceeded to rejoin his pack of friends. My friend then turned to us and said, “If he doesn’t text me by tomorrow night, I’m not interested.” This brings me to rule number one:
1. The 24-Hour Rule
When did it become a thing that you must wait 24 hours to text someone back to avoid the risk of appearing too desperate? Why can’t we text the person that just gave us their number as soon as we get a chance? I’m assuming that you are interested because you asked for my number. Therefore, a text would be expected. But wait, if you text us past 24 hours then us ladies will assume that you forgot about us, and we will not be interested anymore. But guys, you aren’t off the hook. You immediately assume that us girls are “crazy” if we text you before the night is over —
or even the next morning. When did a “good morning” text become creepy? You asked for us to presumably talk to you, so you shall receive.2. The “Well, They Took An Hour To Respond To Me…” Rule
If I have to hear one more person complain about how long it took someone to respond to their text, and in turn saying to me, “Well, I’m going to make them wait now.” No, stop. Do not make them wait. Have any of you ever thought that perhaps they have other things going on in their lives than waiting by their phone for your text? If I text someone and they take longer than I would have preferred for them to respond, I am not going to punish them by taking the exact same amount of time for mine. If I see a text message and have something to say, I am not going to wait to say it. There is no need to waste everyone’s time and energy playing that ridiculous waiting game.
3. The "Pretend Like You Have No Feelings At All" Rule
Say that you meet someone, and you two hit it off. You have butterflies and have begun overthinking everything you say to them. You want them to like you just as much as you like them. But wait — don’t tell them that you like them. Instead, go tell all of your friends how great they are and much you like them. But definitely don’t tell that person how you feel. In fact, why be honest with them at all? If they ask you out on a date, shrug and say, “Maybe, I’ll have to let you know.” That one works every time. If they tell you that they have feelings for you, please respond by saying you "aren’t sure if you’re looking for anything right now." We wouldn’t want them to know that you feel the same way. That would make things far too easy. Am I right? No, I’m not. For the love of God, tell them how you feel. Stop playing these elementary games of who admits how they feel first. Take the chance and tell them! You’ll thank yourself later.
I have tried breaking all three of these rules in not only my relationships but also my friendships and have gotten pretty good results. Believe it or not my fellow millennials, people appreciate a quick response and respect from you as well. When no games are played, relationships only have room for honesty and growth. I know we are all accustomed to the rules I have listed for you (and much more), but try rebelling a little and see how it goes. Start treating people the way that you expect them to treat you, and I guarantee that you will have a very different experience.
