Growing up, my one true passion in life was softball. I would do anything for the game I loved. I missed birthday parties, sleepovers, and even family events. It was a special kind of love I had for the game. It was my get away. I would do just enough to get through my weekdays to put everything I had into those weekends filled with softball. Most girls looked foward to spending time with their friends doing hair and makeup, but I was different. I couldn't wait to take those long trips to places I've never been to play this game with girls who were practically my sisters.
I bled for this game. It was my whole heart, but something changed in me. I don't know exactly when, but after I had reached my dream of playing in college, I changed. I began to dred every practice, trip, and even game. I didn't look forward to my trips with my team, I didn't want to go to practices with my coaches, and I especially didn't care to be at the games we played. I didn't even want to be apart of it anymore. My love formed into hate, and the worst part about it was it wasn't the game itself but the people who surrounded it. I don't blame you for me hanging up my cleats, but I do blame you for making me hate the one thing I once loved. No one felt the love that I did. To the players it was school payed for, and to the coaches it was just another paycheck. We were the laughing stock of the softball world, and no one cared... but I sure did. It seemed as if those hundreds of weekends I had put into this were for nothing. I was so upset with not only you but myself. I had always been taught to not let those who surround you change your outlook on life, but I did.
I didn't quit because we lost games. I quit because we were losing, and no one cared. Our practices and games were a joke. We didn't care to get any better or work any harder. We went through the motions at practice, went on our trips, and lost our games because "we didn't expect to win anyway?" I hated the attitude that surrounded me, so I hung it up. I blame myself for that. I blame myself for not standing up and trying to change not only me but everything I hated about it. I just sat aside and watched my dreams crumble in front of me.
With that being said, it wasn't all just one big horrible experience for me. There actually is one really good lesson that came from it. You taught me that there is more to life than just softball. If it weren't for you, I would probably be sulking over my situation, but because of you, I worked up the nerve to hang it up because it truly is just a game. I would have never discovered the other things I could be passionate about if it wasn't for you. Since I quit I have found a job I love and people who could be life long friends. So for that, thank you. I don't hate you or the game. I just hate how it ended. I hope you guys have a great season, and I will miss you.
Sincerely,
Your Ex Teammate
