¡Uno, dos, tres, catorce! I would belt out these lyrics to Vertigo every time the song came on the radio in the car or over our speakers in the kitchen during dinner. My understanding was that since Bono sings catorce after tres, then catorce must mean four. What else could it be? Well, apparently to Bono, fourteen follows three, but no one seemed to clue me in on this mistranslation.
So I started my Spanish career with a basic misunderstanding of the numbers, and here lies the root to my inevitable future as a mediocre Spanish student. By now, I have most U2 songs memorized to heart, which is more than I can say about the Spanish language after about 10 years of classes. I skated by in middle school Spanish since it was treated more like an elective than a serious subject. Then I managed to die and resurrect in every high school Spanish class I took, always studying hard to pull out barely passing grades. No bueno.
#ThanksBono
But now that I am in college and no longer have to take Spanish, I am learning that I am not alone in the Spanish struggle. There is a special bond between people who took Spanish through middle school and high school and still don’t know how to hold a conversation or write an essay. So here's to people like me, the Spanish-inept Spanish students.
If you were like me in Spanish class, then you probably were the one who relied too heavily on words you already knew because everyone in the world already knew them. Any time you could, you would squeeze in the word “taco” without shame.
Every time you took oral exams, you had so much pent up anxiety that you even forgot how to speak English. And then speaking Spanish? Forget it! Instead, your tongue would have spasms as you tried to roll your r’s for words you were probably using incorrectly anyway.
There were grammar topics taught that no matter how hard you studied and reviewed them, you would just never understand them. It would get to such a hard point, that you were relieved to take the unit exam so that you would never have to think about that topic again.
Except when that topic was built upon for the next unit and you knew you were just screwed.
If you were in group projects, you were that partner who sat back and let the others work. You knew it was worse when your group actively avoided giving you any sort of responsibility for the project.
And let’s be honest, your group’s grade was better when you participated less. But hey, they always gave you the artsy parts of the project, so you had an excuse to use crayons!
You would only raise your hand when you were 100 percent certain that what you were about to say was coherent Spanish and you were ecstatic to show off that you knew something. Then when you spoke, and the teacher pointed out that your Spanish was 100 percent wrong, you kept your hand down for at least two weeks until your mustered up the courage to try and fail again.
How about that lovely feeling of watching your friends take the advanced language courses, while you manage to stay in the lower level Spanish classes and being schooled by the very eager freshmen who were practically bilingual?
But you never got mad at those freshmen because they were ultimately the ones who helped you with your homework.
You always looked forward to Cinco de Mayo because hopefully you would have a lecture in English about the significance of the holiday. Who doesn’t love a good independence story told in simple English?
Or better yet: Class Fiesta! (Fiesta = party; but you knew that because you love fiestas!)
You always brought the nachos because you could pronounce nachos.
Maybe you don’t have as concrete of a reason, like I do, as to why you could never learn Spanish. Some people just don’t get language, like how some don’t get Calculus or Chemistry. (Hell, I still don’t get either of those subjects!) And it looks like Bono doesn’t understand Spanish either, and yet he is pretty successful without it. But he didn’t have to mess me up like that. #ThanksBono
So here’s to you, the students who never did and still cannot learn Spanish. Never be discouraged or insecure by your lack of understanding because students like us are always the life of the fiesta! And let’s be honest, as long as you know how to say "taco" and "margarita," you are pretty much set for life.
