When I was growing up, it was always fun being the tallest kid in class. That was before I realized there was actually such a thing as being too tall. At 6’7”, I stick out like a sore thumb, and it’s not very fun. Here’s an inside scoop on the daily struggle that is the life of an extremely tall man.
1. There is no such thing as buying clothes in store
Since senior year of high school, a vast majority of the clothes I bought were bought online. This is because as soon as any of the larger clothes go into stock, they’re off the shelves just as quickly. Business attire is a HUGE issue, especially because nobody carries a 42 shoulder width with an extra-long jacket length, a 36 waist and inseam, and a size 15 dress shoe. Which brings me to my next struggle…
2. Nobody has my shoe size. Not even the clearance rack.
Seriously. They have a decent number of size 13 shoes. They even carry a couple size 14 pairs. But size 15? Apparently that’s asking for too much. It’s like companies choose not to make size 15 shoes because they’re much bigger than your average shoe and probably take longer to make. Even online they’re usually out of stock.
3. If it looks like a low ceiling or doorway, I duck habitually
Sure, your average doorway today is 6’10”, but a large majority of houses are still outdated and have low doorways. There are even some ceilings I can touch flat handed and still have my arm bent. That’s just plain wrong. But, of course, it doesn’t stop there. I’ve hit my head on several low hanging lights in restaurants, I’ve hit my head on ceilings when sleeping on the top bunk, and I’ve even hit my head on some low hanging signs.
4. Twin size bed…what’s that?
I haven’t slept in a twin size bed in a very long time. I am just way too long and way too wide for that. I’m also too long for my full size bed (which I brought with me to college), so I sleep diagonally across my bed.
5. Even if I liked roller coasters, I wouldn’t fit on one
I have a huge fear of roller coasters (a story I might share one day for the sake of giving everyone a good laugh), but I tried riding one once during my junior year of high school. As petrified as I was, my knees were up in my throat, and it took forever to get the safety belt down to where my legs would still fit on the ride.
6. Shower heads are never tall enough. Ever.
Remember watching "Elf" and Buddy would take a shower in that dinky little elf shower? Yeah, I live that daily.
7. The first question people ask when meeting me is not “Hi, what’s your name?” but “Damn! How tall are you?!”
It’s true, and it’s gotten to a point where I’ll just introduce myself anyway. Then they look at me confused, and then I answer their question. Best part? They walk away right after. Rude.
8. I’m always the guy that gets asked to reach for things in high places
Knowing my luck, I’d be at the bank during a robbery, and a short bank robber would ask me to get a stack of $100s off of a shelf in the back that they can’t reach, and then I get arrested as an accomplice. But seriously, I do things like this for people so often they don’t even thank me anymore. I get treated like a human E-Z Grabber.
9. People automatically assume I play basketball
Even though I do play basketball, it’s a question that I feel I should be more annoyed with hearing. If I wasn’t a basketball player, I feel like I would be more insulted by the assumption.
10. Hugging people is weird
Like really weird. It looks like I’m choking a small child.
So, next time you see your tall friend, let him know you now understand his pain. But don’t hug him, I guarantee he doesn’t like hugging.
