I’ve been living in my own apartment for two years now. I knew that I didn’t want to live in dorms on campus for my whole college career, I wanted to boldly go where most students do after their first year or two. It was what I considered my first step towards independence and self-sufficiency. Paying my own rent, being responsible for bills and a credit card, making my own food, making a home… I was high on some kind of notion that being an independent adult would be exciting. My parents worked hard and did the same at my age, and they raised me right, so why couldn’t I do it too?
But I’m not an independent adult. My parents gave me my car and I haven’t managed to pay them back for it yet. They still pay the insurance on it, and for AAA. They pay for my cell phone. They pay for my health insurance, my doctor’s visits, prescriptions, etc. And they took out loans to help pay for the first two years of my education.
It’s becoming harder and harder to do it alone these days. Being a full-time student and part-time worker, I struggle to get by even with all the amenities I still receive. Sometimes it’s difficult to not feel like a failure when you need help. It feels like you can’t do it on your own, and by asking for help you’ve given up or you’ve reached your last option. Most of the time our pride gets in the way. As college students, we brag about getting no sleep or eating ramen every day for weeks. ‘The Struggle’ becomes a glorified concept where suffering is the norm and asking for help is a sign of weakness. We’re supposed to be adults, right? Even though we’re clearly unprepared (high school still doesn’t teach taxes) we’ve got the gumption and the drive to work hard and grind out a living.
Sometimes, no matter the drive and the grind, you can’t be totally independent. There are still some things we all need help with. To the people who have been on their own for a while, whether you were forced to or not, you guys are awesome. I’m still not there yet. I’m still learning, as are many others. But I’m not a failure for having to ask for help, and neither is anyone else.
