Through our duration of grade school, it’s safe to say we have all encountered “the new kid”. Whether having spotted this unfamiliar face at a lonely table in the cafeteria or noticing the diffident student in class, we can all agree on discerning his or her presence at some point or another.

Hi, I’m Remy. And I’m the new kid. Not once in my life had the thought of changing high schools crossed my mind. It was unfeasible. I had seen students come and go as the years progressed and looking back I noticed how, at times, I wouldn’t spend more than five minutes considering who each, new individual was and what they could have been dealing with behind closed doors.

Being that I had moved towns and switched schools in the eleventh grade, the pressure to make friends was significantly stronger knowing that almost everyone had already established their friend group. Which circle of friends would I become a part of? When will I be added to a clique? Will I even make friends?! All questions, along with numerous others, I asked myself everyday.

For the most part, I feel as though there’s a common, unspoken stigma associated with “the new kid”. The unfamiliar face is usually stereotyped, seen as shy or introverted or timid. This individual could also be perceived as friendless; since she has no friends at this school she probably doesn’t have any at all, right? These instantaneous judgments are what make it difficult for the new kid to branch out, and more importantly, make it difficult for the new kid to want to branch out.

I get it - as secondary school students, we don’t necessarily expand our horizons once we have obtained our group of friends, let alone interact with a whole, new individual. More often than not, we brush the new kid off, his or her existence so trivial to our daily lives. Disregarding the student is one thing, but my question is, where do these stereotypes stem from? How come “the new kid” is regarded as awkward and recluse? Don’t get me wrong, these cliches do not last long, especially after friends are gained and interaction with fellow students is made. However, until that transpires, the labels are kept and heed.

My friends and I look back on high school now, rehashing memories from off-periods to After Prom, and a topic always worthy of discussion, my being “the new kid”. We had all become so close so quickly, which is what makes it so bizarre to think I hadn’t known any of them just three years ago. To this day, I am posed a question that I find myself marveling at each and every time it’s bestowed; “Why were you so quiet when you first moved here?”. Of course, my eleventh-grade self mirrored anything but the person I really was, considering the circumstances. As a new student, you are removed entirely from your comfort zone, being situated in an environment made up of anomalous people and things. You feel as though your classmates have surmised that you have come from a planet twenty light years away, instead of a town twenty minutes away. You believe your words and actions are being observed under the scrutiny of a telescope, thus the moves you make are to be subtle and unnoticed. With such unsettling thoughts constantly brewing in your mind, you cannot help but remain quiet and inconspicuous - you feel it is all you can do. As easy as it may sound, walking up to a lunch table full of girls and asking to join them takes an immense amount of courage - especially for a fifteen-year-old. Indulging yourself into a group of unfamiliar faces can be unnerving at any age, and the consequences for judgement and embarrassment seem higher for the new kid. To save any and all deplorable outcomes, remaining silent looks like the correct way to go.

So, no, “the new kid” is not awkward or friendless as you may make him or her out to be, and such harsh judgments could significantly seize their ability to feel comfortable and wanted. Of course, the act of labeling is inevitable and human, but take a step back and empathize with what they must be feeling. The next time you notice an unknown face, consider firing up a conversation - whether with a small compliment or request to sit with them. I guarantee, your words will be much appreciated.