The Stay-At-Home Mom Stereotype

The Stay-At-Home Mom Stereotype

We need to stop generalizing women, and mothers, in general.
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“A woman’s place is in the house and the senate.”

One of the biggest stereotypes that surrounds women is that we all love children and just can’t wait to have our own, but not all women want four-plus kids, and some women don’t even want kids. This stereotype is becoming more and more irritating to women everywhere. We’re used to the “women can’t drive” and “women are emotionally unstable” comments—which we shouldn’t be—but some of us were just flat out born with little to no maternal instincts.

The double standards need to stop. We either assume that all women want to be stay-at-home moms, or we ridicule them for having this desire. If you have the financial means, what’s wrong with wanting to be invested in your children’s future? Just because she doesn’t contribute to the family financially doesn’t mean she has an easy job. Until about 50 years ago, all women were expected to stay home and conduct the various “feminine” responsibilities around the house; such as cleaning, tending the garden, raising the children, doing the laundry, and make the meals. The only time it wasn’t frowned upon for a woman to work was when she was working to “kill time” while finding a husband, or to have something to do after all the children grew up.

We need to stop generalizing women, and mothers, in general. If you expect your future wife to be a stay-at-home mom—don’t. Just because that’s what you want, doesn’t mean that that’s what she wants. According to a New York Times article, a wife’s employment lowers a couple’s risk of divorce, and women who stay at home often experience feelings of sadness, anger, and depression.

Personally, I have no desire to be a house wife. I want a career. I will get my law degree to end up taking six years off to raise the kids until they’re old enough to go to school. Of course I want to see their milestones and accomplishments, but having them go to daycare isn’t a big deal to me. I’m not going to put myself into debt to go through graduate school only to potentially marry someone that assumes I want to stay at home with the kids for a few years. I had a single mom who worked two jobs, and there wasn’t an option for her to stay home. I was at daycare from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m., and she didn’t miss a thing. I turned out just fine, with no feelings of bitterness toward the way I was raised.

Raising a family is no easy feat, and the typical family expectations are beginning to disintegrate. Stay-at-home dads are becoming a more common family aspect, contributing to the breakdown of gender stereotypes. For all the stay-at-home moms, or even dads, out there, I commend you. I am in no way throwing shade in your direction.

Staying home all day with the kids is definitely not for everyone. We need to stop making women feel like they are choosing between their children and their careers. There are women who cannot wait to get off of maternity leave, and there are mothers that never want it to end. Women no longer fit into categories because we have bent the guidelines and created our own sub categories for ourselves. We are all unique, with individual differences and talents.

Whatever it is that you want to do in life, male or female, don’t let society influence how you raise your family. You need to do what is best for them, but you also need to keep in mind what is best for you as well. You are not choosing your career over your family, or vise versa. How you choose to raise your family is no one’s business but your own. You can have a career and a family, so break the stereotypes and stigmas by doing it your way.

Cover Image Credit: Winnie Forbes

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To The Grandmothers Who Made Us The Women We Are Today

Sincerely, the loving granddaughters.
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The relationship between a grandmother and her granddaughter is something so uniquely special and something to be treasured forever.

Your grandma loves you like you are her own daughter and adores you no matter what. She is the first person you run to when you have a problem with your parents and she never fails to grace you with the most comforting advice.

She may be guilty of spoiling you rotten but still makes sure to stress the importance of being thankful and kind.

Your grandma has most likely lived through every obstacle that you are experiencing now as a young adult and always knows just exactly what to say.

She grew up in another generation where things were probably much harder for young women than they are today.

She is a walking example of perseverance, strength, and grace who you aim to be like someday.

Your grandma teaches you the lessons she had to learn the hard way because she does not want you to make the same mistakes she did when she was growing up.

Her hugs never fail to warm your heart, her smile never fails to make you smile, and her laugh never fails to brighten your day.

She inspires you to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

You only hope that one day you can be the mother and grandmother she was to you.

A piece of girl’s heart will forever belong to her grandma that no one could ever replace.

She is the matriarch of your family and is the glue that holds you all together.

Grandmothers play such an important role in helping their granddaughters to grow into strong, intelligent, kind women.

She teaches you how to love and how to forgive.

Without the unconditional love of your grandma, you would not be the woman you are today.

To all of the grandmothers out there, thank you for being you.

Sincerely,

the loving granddaughters

Cover Image Credit: Carlie Konuch

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11 Pieces Of Fatherly Advice Everyone Needs To Be Reminded Of

The greatest man in the world is bound to give the greatest advice.

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Months and months ago my father wrote down his favorite quotes and pieces of advice for himself after reading my favorite book, "Tuesdays With Morrie."

He has always given me stellar advice about love, loss and self-worth. Now, I will share it with the world.

This one is for you, Dad.

1. Be bold but not aggressive

This is a personal favorite of mine, especially as an extrovert. I sometimes worry that being the open person I am that I come off too strong or too abrasive.

With this piece of advice though, I remind myself not to "overdo" it. Just be natural.

2. Be confident with room for humility

If there is one thing I have learned from my father it is humility. A sense of humbleness.

I am proud of the person I am, but I have learned to never think I am above anyone else or that I am more important.

3. Love others with all your heart and family with all you are

We are loving people in this household and this piece of advice proves just that.

Despite who you are or what you come off to be, it is important to love friends and lovers with every part of yourself to ensure you did everything you could.

It is important to love family with all you are because lots of the time they made you who you are in the first place.

4. When it comes to dating, even if you don't love them make sure you at least respect them

Not every person you date is "the one." Not every person you date you are going to marry.

Even so, at least respect that person you are seeing. Be polite, be courteous, be kind — be respectful to their needs even if you can't love them.

5. Be patient when it comes to true love, it is rare but so fine

My parents have a love like no other.

They are true loves, soulmates and life partners, BUT it also took time for them to get married.

6. Reserve the harshest judgement for yourself

Tough love is normal. Critiquing is normal.

What is not normal is being cruel and inconsiderate. Leave the harshest judgment for behind closed doors, in a mirror — not towards others.

7. Be tolerant but not submissive

Be patient and kind, to a point. Do not settle for something you do not deserve. Be grateful for what is fair.

8. Don't sweat the small stuff — everything is small stuff

This piece of advice speaks for itself. Do not stress the things that are out of your control. Do not get upset over little things.

In a short period of time, you won't even remember it.

9. Live with passion

Be motivated in your work, in your love, in your friendships and yourself. Living life to the fullest with joy in your heart makes for the best life.

10. Treat the elderly with honor and respect

My dad says that time is a teacher and knowledge is acquired. If it weren't for our elders, we wouldn't learn from the past.

11. Have courage and be kind — remember all your grace

This has become my motto in life. I think it means to be fearless, do things that scare you and stand up for yourself while still being a good person and better yet a KIND person.

It is important to know yourself and be true to you.

So, thank you, dad, for all your words of advice. I couldn't have lived this beautiful life without you.

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