5 Stages Of Friend Separation Anxiety

5 Stages Of Friend Separation Anxiety

One of toughest things a squad can experience.
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If you're anything like me and have a severe case of "FOMO" (fear of missing out), then you've probably experienced at least some separation anxiety at some point in your life. Whether it was because you were leaving your friends for a prolonged period of time, leaving your home, or leaving your family, I'm sure some of you have felt a longing to return to the people and the places that you love. College takes friend separation anxiety to an entirely new level. When you basically eat, sleep, and play with the same group of people everyday for months on end, it can be quite an adjustment to go without the same faces you're used to sharing your every waking minute with. From Thanksgiving break to spring break there are weeks and even months where you have to go without some of your best friends at school. The stages of such friend separation anxiety are usually as follows:

1. When you all realize that break is around the corner.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring break, and Summer are some of the key turning points in a standard school year. Usually about a week or so before said break you and your squad will be hanging out and someone will bring up the fact that you'll all be returning home for the holidays in a mere couple of days. This usually results in a couple panicked glances around the room, and even a few pouty faces between you and your best girlfriends. Then the true freak-outs really begin.

2. Wondering how you'll all be able to live without one another.

How are we not going to be able to see each other's faces for more than 24 hours? The struggle is real here. After the initial realization of your imminent departures from campus the real frenzy begins. Who am I going to aimlessly sit in a room with laughing about nothing for hours?

3. So you go decide to go out and try to forget about the impending future.

Once you're done wallowing about how your gonna miss one another's faces you usually decide, in true college fashion, to hit the town. There's only so much time left together so you all have to hit absolutely every party that comes your way while being squad deep. After a couple drinks at the bar the pain of separating becomes a little more tolerable.

4. True sadness when you all finally leave one another.

It all hits when you say your final goodbyes and hit the road for each of your designated hometowns. You officially can't see your best friends for the next week, month, or even two months. At the time, this is going to seem like the worst thing any of us could possibly imagine. Let the incessant texting conversations begin (as if they already hadn't).

5. REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD!

You've all suffered through your time away from one another together and it's now time to head back to campus and reconvene. It may have seemed like forever but when you all finally see each other again it's like not even a minute has passed.

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...

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Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

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Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.

Signed,

The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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