Getting a new best friend is almost as exciting as opening gift-wrap on Christmas morning. You begin to question why and how that person wasn’t in your life until now and get self-conscious about your actions, similar to when you first enter a relationship. But it is a slow road from braiding each other’s hair to your hair up, glasses on and Invisiline in before you start to feel fully comfortable. Just know that you’re not alone when you flirt your way through friendship.
The First Step: Compliments
Notorious for making friends in the bathroom stall of a bar, I’m all about this stage of friendship. When you first make a new friend you begin in the honeymoon phase of complimenting their hair, nails, outfit and whole being to provide affirmation to them that not only do you think they’re awesome, but there is a small ounce of you that wants to be them, pretty by association!
The Second Step: Treating Your Friend
Suddenly money is no object with your new bestie. You both have undoubtedly bonded over food by this point, so you spend all your funds going out for brunch and ice cream, and you ALWAYS offer to pay. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pro-feminism, but I’m more likely to pay for my home girl's meal rather than a date's, oops!
The Third Step: Bragging Rights
One minute you are living a fairly normal life that is centered on yourself, and the next you want everyone to know how amazing your friend is. You start sentences with “Yeah I’m pretty good at ___________,” but then end more animated with “BUT MY FRIEND ___________ IS SOOOOO MUCH BETTER." And you make sure all the rest of your friends who have never met them are knowledgeable of all their accomplishments!
The Fourth Step: Integration
A key point in friendship is blending the old with the new. For all my friends with divorced parents, this is similar to when you meet your parent’s new significant other. If the two parties don’t get along, this is a make or break. But more often than not, your old and new friend team up to make fun of you and you almost get jealous at them hitting it off so fast!
The Fifth Step: Real Talk
This doesn’t necessarily have to be your whole life story, you have plenty of time for that eventually, but this is the first time you reveal a key that legit nobody knows yet, not even your OG bestie. Whether it’s your new crush or an internal dilemma, they are there to help you sort things out without any judgment. At this point, it is all about removing layers and building a foundation of crucial trust!
The Sixth Step: Full Gremlin
We’ve all seen movies with trolls and gremlins and are fully aware that with enough time in bed without showing, you too can look like that effortlessly! Now the best part in your new friendship is when you don’t even care that they come over when you’re in this state of homelessness. In fact, you let them know that if they even try to hang out with you while looking nice, it will be a direct insult. Gremlins unite!
We all want to go from rags to riches, but finding that friend that makes you want to do the reverse is a beautiful thing. Have no shame that most of your friendships started with harmless flirting!
