The Sorting Hat Identity Crisis

The Sorting Hat Identity Crisis

When you think you're a Gryffindor but you get sorted into...
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It's a defining moment in a person's life when one single question can solve all of their internal mysteries. A question whose answer reveals an indisputable truth about a person that can alter their life forever... That most important question is... Which Hogwarts house do you belong in?

To take the one test that mattered, all you would have to do is look no further than Pottermore, the online HQ for all things of the wizarding world. Here, you could participate in the Sorting Ceremony, and figure out which house you'd call your home in Hogwarts! Are you crafty and clever like a Slytherin? Are you wise like a Ravenclaw? Loyal like a Hufflepuff? Or are you brave and bold like a Gryffindor? This sorting was basically every fans dream come true. Finally, there was one true answer of where you belonged! However, a world wide panic spread last September when Pottermore went under a relaunch and update causing members to lose their previous houses and wands. But never fear! If you haven't been told the good news already, I'm happy to announce that our beloved Sorting Ceremony is back in action!

Of course, all good things come with a catch. Because all of the houses and wands were lost during the previous months, all previous members are required to rejoin and get resorted. This caused a bit of a scare with the fans, because the one test that mattered had to be retaken. It was hard the first time, and they want us to take it again? Luckily, you are given a choice when you first begin. Fans could either reclaim their previous houses and wands, or they can try their luck and get resorted.

This is where I would like to take a long pause. R.E.S.O.R.T.E.D. For those who had an existential crisis previously, it's about to get a whole lot worse! Fans who dared take this path were completely shocked (and more than confused) when their previous sorting was different than the now! Slytherins were suddenly thrown into Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws were suddenly launched into Gryffindor! The balance of the world suddenly exploded! And the worst part is, is that this new sorting is 100% PERMANENT. There are no Talk about a dilemma! Only about half of the people who decided to get resorted were put into the same house they were in before. Everyone else? They are currently hiding from the world trying to figure out just what went wrong. So, where do you truly belong?

To shed a more personal light on the subject, I'll talk about my crisis when I was sorted in the official (and so painfully permanent) ceremony. In previous months, I have taken probably every single knock off sorting quiz there is on the world wide web. My first time I ever took a sorting quiz I got stuck between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, which ultimately turned out to be Gryffindor. But, to be sure, I continued to take more quizzes and low and behold, I got Ravenclaw 99.9% of the time. This is good news right? At least for a little bit, it was.

After the last quiz, I finally excepted my house. I was in Ravenclaw where "those of wit and learning will always find their kind." I mean, it made sense. I'm a rather intelligent, witty child, whose obsession with books and writing is almost unmatched. This was totally something I could categorize myself in! From there on, I was a proud Ravenclaw.

Well, when I heard about the new Sorting Ceremony on "Pottermore", I knew I just had to be officially sorted. Might as well 100% confirm I'm a Ravenclaw, right? It would be fun! So, I quickly go on the site, sign up, and bravely start the quiz. Most of the questions were odd, so I took a really long time to answer them to make sure I picked the best fit. When I got to the last question (which I didn't know what the last question at the time) and hit the submit answer button, I was completely and utterly stunned to receive a flash of red on my screen, and the big words of "Congratulations on being sorted into Gryffindor!"

Say WHAT? What did this test mean I was in Gryffindor?! I'm a Ravenclaw! At this point I was freaking out, because I knew these results were permanent. I then began texting my dear friend, Sam, about my problems (like a normal whiny girl). What do I do? Am I truly a Gryffindor, or am I really a Ravenclaw? I've been associating with being a Ravenclaw for so long that I don't know what I'm going to do with myself!

It came to a point where I had her take the test, just to see what would happen. My Slytherin friend obliged, and took the test. Suddenly, we were on the same boat. My previously 100% Slytherin gal, was sorted into Ravenclaw- MY SHOULD BE HOUSE. By then we were both freaking out (I was mostly livid and screaming, while Sam was just stunned, but whatever). Have we been living in a lie this whole time? Is this really where we belong?

We began doing some digging. Maybe there was a way out. Maybe the test was glitching. I checked all of the social media sites I have, and that's where I found out that a lot of people were having the same problem. I began clicking random tags (just to see how many people where switching their houses), when I accidentally clicked a tag I didn't even know existed.

This is when my lovely friend and I discovered what was to be our saving grace- combined houses. They are unofficial Hogwarts houses in the wizarding world, but, in the fanbase at least, they're pretty legit. These houses are for the ones who were so evenly paired off with two houses (like Hermione and Harry were) that there is no one answer. Instead, there is a combined house. These houses include Gryffinclaw, Slytherdor, Slytherpuff, Ravenpuff, Slytherclaw, and Gryffinpuff. The houses combine all of your attributes that are used for two separate houses, and puts them into one collective house. So, there's no need to suffer and choose just one or the other! Just accept that you're a perfect combination of both! You are a beautiful mess!


So, for those who are currently going through the Sorting Hat Situation, know that there is another option! Ultimately, it's your own choice that who defines who you are, not a test. You chose who you are. I suggest you take the chance to chose and roll with it!

Sincerely,

A proud Gryffinclaw

Cover Image Credit: Google Images

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35 Major Life Facts According To Nick Miller

"All booze is good booze, unless it's weak booze."
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Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.

You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.

Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':

1. Drinking keeps you healthy.

"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."

2. Dinosaurs never existed.

"I don't believe dinosaurs existed. I've seen the science. I don't believe it."


3. A paper bag is a bank.

"A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls."


4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.

"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."

5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.

Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."

6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.

Cece: "Come on, get up!"

Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."

7. There's no reason to wash towels.

Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"

Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"

Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"

8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)

"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."

9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.

"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."

10. You don't need forks if you have hands.

Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."

Nick: "I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

11. Sex has a very specific definition.


"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."

12. Doors are frustrating.

"I will push if I want to push! Come on! I hate doors!"

13. All booze is good booze.

"Can I get an alcohol?"

14. ...unless it's weak booze.

"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"

15. Writers are like pregnant women.

Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."

Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."

Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"

Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."

16. All bets must be honored.

"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."

17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

"Adele is amazing."

18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.

"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."

19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.


“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"

20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.

Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"

Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"

21. ...so are blueberries.

Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."

Nick: "And blueberries."

22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.


Jess: "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"

Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"

23. Getting into shape is not easy.

"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."

24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.

"If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings."


25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.

"The enemy is the inner me."

26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.


"Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing. I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you."

27. Public nudity is normal.

"Everbody has been flashed countless times."

28. Alcohol is a cure-all.


"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."

29. Horses are aliens.

"I believe horses are from outer-space."


30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'

Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."

Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."

31. Trench coats are hot.


"This coat has clean lines and pockets that don't quit, and it has room for your hips. And, when I wear it, I feel hot to trot!"


32. Sparkles are too.

"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."

33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."


34. It's important to live in the moment.

"I know this isn't gonna end well but the middle part is gonna be awesome."


35. Drinking makes you cooler.

Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."

Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."

Cover Image Credit: Hollywood Reporter

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The Zodiac Signs As Bath And Body Works Scents

Just in case you want to know what scent you are!

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Bath and Body Works fans could be considered to be part of a cult. The scents draw you in as if calling your name, if you ever
wondered what your scent should be based on your zodiac sign, here it is!

Aries: Country Apple

The rather impulsive Aries takes their time picking and choosing the scents from Bath and Body Works. The soothing scent of a fresh apple orchard is just what they need on a daily basis to keep up with their shenanigans.

Taurus: Japanese Cherry Blossom

The personality of a Taurus is stubborn, or what I like to say, is stuck in their ways. When they first discovered this scent in middle school, this was it. This is the only scent you will find anywhere around a Taurus.

Libra: Pink Chiffon

Pink Chiffon is another cult classic. This best selling scent went out of style for a hot second but is back and bigger than ever.

Leo: Thousand Wishes

Thousand Wishes is a purr-fect scent for a Leo. The light scent adornes the wearer just the right amount to get the desired reaction from those around them.

Aquarius: Be Enchanted

The rather cold personality of an Aquarius is counteracted by the loving scent of Be Enchanted. The scent is just enough tenderness for the wearer to be relaxed.

Gemini: Moonlight Path

Gemini's constantly change their favorite scent and are in and out of the store almost weekly to by new lotions, candles, and body washes. You will never see a full empty bottle of anything, however, Moonlight Path is the scent they keep coming back to again and again.

Virgo: Sea Island Cotton

The clean personality of a Virgo must be matched with the clean scent of Sea Island Cotton.

Capricorn: Cucumber Melon

Another clean scent of Cucumber Melon is the exact thing a Capricorn needs. The balance and calming scents are what make this scent so attractive to a Capricorn.

Scorpio: Paris Amour

The light scent is what you would expect from an extreme sign like a Scorpio. The scent lightly washes over the wearer in almost a cloud that

Sagittarius: Cashmere Glow

Cashmere Glow is a perfect scent for the winter sign. The vanilla and golden peach scent is just the mixture that creates the perfect accessory in the chilly months.

Pisces: Warm Vanilla Sugar

This lovely scent accentuates the lovely personality of a Pisces. They can never get enough of this scent so they just keep buying and buying until they have a full stockpile.

Cancer: Velvet Sugar

Velvet Sugar is the perfect blend of red velvet and strawberries and a Cancer is always changing their mind. The wearer can tell if it is a more red velvet or strawberry kind of day, and that is the balance that they need in their lives.

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