I’ve always been a deeply musical person. I can’t play a lick of anything myself, but I picture my future husband as being proficient in an instrument and a half. Of course, before I marry my alleged future husband (who also probably moonlights as a cover band’s double for Fred “Sonic” Smith/knows who Fred “Sonic” Smith was), I should probably disclose the torrid affairs of my past.

OK, none of these memories are of torrid affairs. They are all of crushes of the past… or, in one case, the past and the present and probably the future. But like any young person who thinks they might be in love, I associate certain songs with certain one-sided romantic feelings in my personal history. What was more fun than lying in bed at night, scrolling through my iPod options, trying to land on the perfect song to describe my exact feelings? Nothing. Except being allowed to drink caffeine on a school night.

So, without further ado about nothing, here’s a list of fourteen songs from my crushes of yore. I’ll probably regret writing this list in the morning.

1. "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" by Iron and Wine

You might know it as the song from the prom scene at the end of the first “Twilight” movie (2008). Guess what? When I was in eighth grade, I knew it as that song, too. “Twilight” is one of those movies where everything is really bad, but the soundtrack is killer. This track might have been my favorite on the whole CD because, yes, I owned the CD. It was 2008. For years, I had romantic visions of a slow dance to this song, and finally, my sixteenth birthday party rolled around in 2011. I was in control of every song they played that night, and this folksy track was certainly on the list. I walked right on up to the first boy I ever really liked and asked him to dance with me. He did, and it’s one of my favorite memories from high school. It’s exceptionally less adorable when you realize that a line from the song is, “Now I’m a fat house cat,” but whatever. I hold that memory in the highest esteem.

2. "Linger" by The Cranberries

This selection might come as a bit of a surprise. Despite the fact that I feel about fifteen years older than I actually am, as it turns out, I am still in my early twenties. So, this song wasn’t the soundtrack to my high school days or anything. In fact, I don’t even really like it. The Cranberries are the band equivalent of when a culottes-wearing church rat meets a really cool Goth girl at the mall over the summer in a bad movie I would never write. But this song reminds me of my first confirmed-reciprocated crush on a man who remains one of my best friends in the world. And because we’re friends, we spend time together when we can. One night, we were out, and this song kept playing. Over and over and over again. So even though I don’t particularly like this song, I also weirdly like it. Because that night with my friend was great.

3. "Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've?)" by The Buzzcocks

Ah, see, you wouldn’t have figured it from the first two selections, but let me let you in on a little secret. Punk’s the thing for me. I love whatever I can relate to, but punk (OK, so pop-punk. I still like my “whoa-oh-oh-oh’s.” Kill me.) just gets me. And this particular song, well… let’s just say it reminds me of the one crush I never should have had. Possibly still have. For four, long, excruciatingly embarrassing years. I think they suggest that you stop having crushes on ridiculously unattainable men after high school. I guess I’m the exception.

4. "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon

Let’s face it. Could you realistically craft a list of songs that remind you of old crushes and not include this classic? It’s the ultimate revenge toward a narcissist, as the title and lyrics so un-lovingly point out. If you sing this song publicly, you have a reason for it, and the human condition causes everyone in your life to panic and wonder if you’re singing about them. It’s genius. Not surprisingly, this song reminds me of my long and painful crush on a narcissist who ghosted on me almost three years ago. I was shook to my core after that one (Re: this article), but it’s been a long time now. Carly Simon’s helped me through.

5. "The Way You Love Me" by Faith Hill

Disclaimer: This selection is entirely sarcastic. As a teenager, I had a two-week crush on a boy because he was nice to me one time, and I was trying to get over another crush. I told my friend about it, and my confession apparently made her think of this song. I do not like this song. I like it less than The Cranberries. But sometimes, a funny memory with the one friend from your teenage years that you actually keep around is more important than the boy from school or the country crooner behind the tune.

6. "Stay the Night" by Green Day

Brief explicit language! I’m not even sure what to say about this one. Obviously, Green Day is my favorite band (I’ve even let go of my grudge since they decided to expand their “Revolution Radio” tour in solidarity with the fans who were compromised last fall.). But I’ve never had a romantic moment directly linked to the band or this specific track. My reason for including it? That might just have to stay a secret for now.

7. "Hopelessly Devoted to You" by Olivia Newton-John

Fun fact: Every pilot episode of every TV show I’ve ever created includes at least one reference to the musical “Grease.” So, it only seems fair that this list should have a track from the movie soundtrack. This song could be used to describe a lot of the crushes I’ve had (Accidentally becoming interested in a period of history because of a crush I developed in a gen-ed class, my inability to get over the guy who ghosted…), but in particular, I’m reminded of another famous two-week crush. I was going through an intense “Grease” phase in sixth grade when I saw an eighth-grade boy in the hallway who was, at the time, the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen. Sandy-and-Danny fantasies ensued. At least we know my imagination isn’t broken, right?

8. "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer

of the 90s? It is. But I never kissed the boy I think of when I hear this song. I was in eighth grade, and due to a scheduling conflict, I landed myself in an art class. Like the art with drawing and painting and stuff. I can’t really do the drawing and painting and stuff. If I draw a tree, it ends up looking like a stick with a cloud magically affixed to the top. But eighth-grade art class wasn’t so bad after I found a cute boy who researched “Harry Potter” to impress me on more than one occasion. This song was playing on the radio when I realized the boy wasn’t so bad. I saw him shortly before I graduated from high school, and I admit that he’s one of the few crushes I don’t look back on and cringe at.

9. "Make This Go on Forever" by Snow Patrol

I was in love for the first time when I was thirteen. I’ve always been pretty pedantic about the word love, so I know that I meant what I said, even today. I loved this album by Snow Patrol in middle school, but this track was my favorite. There was a lot of love and admiration stirring up inside of my young and tiny body, and I didn’t have any real way of expressing those feelings. Listening to this song made it easier. It made me feel like somebody understood me. I’ll always have a special place in my heart for the therapy it gave me.

10. "One Last Time" by The Kooks

Yes, this song reminds me a guy who’s already on the list. I haven’t been into too many people, and repeats are inevitable. One night at the beginning of eleventh grade, my friend texted me and said that she was envisioning a montage of that boy and me set to this song. I laughed and got over him a few weeks after that, but I’ll always remember that bizarre text… and the imaginary montage that resulted.

11. "18th Floor Balcony" by Blue October

If you look up the word maudlin in the dictionary, you’ll probably be directed to this song. It’s overemotional, overwritten, and over-exaggerated. Nonetheless, when I was a freshman in high school, I thought Blue October was the most poetic band in the industry. I was briefly obsessed, and “18^th Floor Balcony” was my favorite. I had montage fantasies with this song as the soundtrack. That year, my imaginary opposite was a twelfth-grade boy I only knew casually. Cliché? Yes. True? Unfortunately, also yes.

12. "I'm Slowly Turning into You" by The White Stripes

To me, this song is an example of what happens when you have a thing for somebody who is also one of your greatest influences. Jack White says it perfectly in the song itself: “It might sound a little strange for me to say to you, but I’m proud to be you.”

13. "In My Life" by The Beatles

In all fairness, I probably shouldn’t make a playlist and not include a Beatles song. It would betray my entire personal history. This song is kind of like the ultimate “I’ll love you forever” song, and I never really thought I’d have anyone to keep in mind when I heard it. Well, now I do. And that’s just a really satisfying and awesome feeling. The Judy Collins cover of this song is really nice, too.

14. "Rejazz" by Regina Spektor

And this is the song you listen to when you realize that, for whatever reason, you can’t be into this person anymore. I can’t describe to you how tough this song makes me feel. Here, Spektor puts romance into perspective. The world doesn’t have to end just because “it” doesn’t work out with one person. You’re in charge of this life. Own it. I owe a lot of smiles through tears to this song. Plus, her voice is just incredible.

Oh, I’ll definitely regret writing this list in the morning.