I have suffered from FOMO (fear of missing out) for about as long as I can remember. It comes mainly from the irrational fear that people don’t like me, and are strategically choosing to not hang out with me.

This progressively got worse during my first semester at Ithaca, as I gradually got more possessive and protective of my friends. I was offended whenever they wouldn’t hang out with me, and hurt when they would hang out together, without me. I started hanging out with other people to somehow make myself feel better.

Then I wondered why I felt torn between two groups of people, and tried to justify and make it a number (if I go to lunch with these people I can eat dinner with these people and study with these people). I did this and wondered why they would hang out together without me. I felt myself shutting down more and more with each Instagram picture I saw without me in it, the end of semester collages without my face appearing, etc. It wasn’t until I got back to Indiana and could separate myself from it all to put myself at ease.

So, to my fellow people with FOMO,

Here’s how to solve it:

Change your mindset.

It’s okay that you don’t do something with a group of people. It’s okay that they decide to do something social without you. Hell, it’s even okay if they stop talking to you altogether.

Because you got a snapshot. Even if it was only for a few days, a week, a few months, they gave you a piece of their life, a piece of their time. They cared about you enough to spend time with you in that moment, and even if they don’t talk to you now, they don’t pay you any mind, you still have that snapshot. You still have that fragment of time where your lives were interconnected.

And for some reason that thought put me at ease. The idea that even if I only know somebody because of a mutual hatred of a class, or a shared joke about something the professor said, that moment will still exist no matter what.

I still remember watching the sunset by the fountains, I still remember staying up until 3 AM at orientation talking to a stranger, I still remember looking over at some random assembly and saying hi to a stranger, I still remember practicing for speeches, I still remember sweatshirts in the library, and for some strange reason thinking we could walk down that huge hill by the back entrance… while I was in a walking boot. I remember jumping from room to room studying. And meeting the best listeners I have ever encountered. I remember those days after kindergarten with Ramen and grilled pb&j. I remember Friday morning donuts and Friday night drives. I remember kickball in the cul-de-sac and the phone call that ended everything.

My closest friend from IC is about a ten hour drive from me. And even if next semester changes everything, and even if it doesn’t, I still have my snapshots. Even if I don’t hang out with people, even if we don’t talk, even if people don’t hang out with me and chose to just be with each other without me, that’s okay.

Thank you for all the love, especially in the little moments, because that’s what I’ll always remember most.

Cheers.