When I was around 11 years old I moved to a new state, a new school, and a new church. I had trouble making friends and transitioning in school, but none of this paralleled the difficulty I had with male leadership. My experience with men in my life thus far had taught me to be guarded and short. My fifth grade Sunday school teacher told me years later, that he and his wife recognized my sarcasm as a bitter protection around my heart.

This attitude softened over the years, but I still commonly use sarcasm as an element of my sense of humor. Often, I say one thing when I mean another, but my experience in college has changed my outlook on sarcasm greatly.

It started with my education classes. My instructors repeated over and over and over how important it was for us as educators to refrain from using sarcasm with our students. I though to myself, "Bologna! Sarcasm is my second language."

Then, this summer I learned what the difference between using sarcasm and irony is for humor. Sarcasm is irony used to convey contempt or often used at someone else's expense. Whereas, irony can address certain instances or moments that are humorous without targeting someone or belittling them.

It's true, in my opinion, that the Bible does use sarcasm as a form of rhetoric. Job replies sarcastically to his friends. Paul addresses certain churches with sarcasm, and the language of the Old Testament is at times laden with sarcastic irony.

However, the purpose of sarcasm in the Bible is never to mock or insult someone. What we would consider sarcasm in scripture is mostly used to juxtapose right behavior with wrong decision-making. It was a tool selected with the intent to edify behavior amongst believers.

All this to say, I've heard it often said that sarcasm is someone's "sixth love language." It's easy to consider sarcasm as a core component of your personality--an aspect that some consider to be an integral part of their identity.

My advice to friends, like me, who once considered, or still consider, sarcasm to be how they "love" and "communicate" is to check your motive. What is your purpose with each sarcastic comment? Are your words bringing others closer to Christ?

It may be true that the Bible doesn't list sarcasm as a sin, but it does say that we will be held accountable for every word we speak (Matthew 12:36-37). Our words as Christians should be words of encouragement that build up others around us (Ephesians 4:29).

We are called to something greater. Being content with your behavior and your attitude shouldn't feel like enough. Choose words that encourage. Choose love despite the perfect opportunity to use sarcasm. Choose a greater attitude.