There is one constant that happens to everyone across the world in a lifetime: the awful and dreaded break up. Some break ups are mutual, some are civil and some are just down right nasty. Whichever one you have endured, you, like many other people, have endured these steps.
Sadness.
This is usually the first stage of any break up. The initial, “we’re over,” that tears through your heart and soul and leaves you as a shell of a human wondering, “What went wrong?” and, “What could I have done to fix this?”
I’ll tell you something right now, this feeling of regret, emptiness and plain misery is the lowest you are going to feel. So please, for the sake of your well-being, cry it out. Let the tears run out of you like the Niagara during a rainy season. Let the sadness seep out of your pours and release into the world because it’s the first step in making yourself feel better.
Anger.
Next comes that feeling of being pissed off. And you have every right to! No matter the circumstances of your break up, you thought this person was in your life for good. A ride or die that was supposed to lead you into your golden years, sitting with you on a porch when you are 86 years old watching your grand children run around in a yard you and your partner have been taking care of since the day you pulled that for sale sign out of the lawn. This person was supposed to be your forever and now they are another finished and closed book you set down and let collect dust.
Again, for the sake of your well-being, let this emotion out. Don’t bottle off the anger because sooner or later it is going to come out and you don’t want it to be directed towards someone who has helped you throughout this break up thus far.
False Hope.
This stage can get tricky. Are you actually happy? Or is your mind playing a not so funny little trick making you believe that everything is going to work out for you two in the end. Trust me when I say that if you have reached this stage, the relationship is over. Even if you don’t want it to be, it should be because a relationship usually can’t come back from this.
Let me try and put this in perspective. You already went through the sadness and anger. And your ex knows that you did. So why would you even want to be with someone who could sit idly by and watch you go through that pain? The answer is you don’t want to be with that person. There are so many people in this world, why settle for someone who thinks your pain is okay?
Backlash.
Almost like the anger stage, but a lot more fun. This stage, you are willing to do anything to have a good time. You have been through a lot so far and I know how draining it can be. You have been badgering yourself with questions constantly worrying and thinking about your ex.
“Is he going to text me again?”
“What if he’s already moved on?”
“Why did this even ever happen?"
Well guess what, it’s time for you to go out and shake your booty, dance with your girlfriends, get a guy to buy you a drink, or even better, give you his number. This is your time to let loose and not care about what your ex is doing because it is irrelevant now! You two have separated and you have started your own road trip to the rest of your life. So wear your cutest outfit, do your hair and makeup and go out knowing that your ex is missing a real diamond.
Forgiveness.
You are almost there. The light at the end of this dreadful tunnel is right in front of you and you are getting ready to leave all of that mess behind. Yeah, you thought you two were going to last forever. And, yeah, you guys shared plenty of great memories. But it’s time to realize that this person was put in your life for a purpose. They were there to help you grow and find new things out about yourself. And you need to thank them for that by forgiving them. So close this chapter of your life and be hopeful for what’s to come next.
Relief.
Congrats! You have successfully made it through a break up. Yes, it sucked at times. And, yes, you never thought you could get over it, but here you are! Feeling happy about what had happened because it was time for a change. Feeling confident that your future is going to be bright and shiny new. And feeling proud of yourself for making it through this awful time. You can finally breathe and feel the wind on your face. So enjoy this moment, because this is life telling you that everything will always work out for the better.
