By now you'd be fourteen, looking forward to your last year in Junior High, getting your driver's permit, crushing on boys, and living the dramatic life that every fourteen year old girl lives. I like to think that we would have been close, sitting in each other's rooms late at night and venting to each other. I like to think that I would have had a relationship with you that I wouldn't have been able to find anywhere else.

I remember when mom and dad first told me that you were coming; I don't think I was very excited to have a little sister at first, but as soon as you came around, I fell in love. I wanted to be the best big sister I could be, calling you 'my Elizabeth' and always wanting to play with or hold you. I didn't have very long with you before you had to leave us, but every day was a precious memory.

The day that you died is something that has been branded into my brain. Although I was so young, it's the first memory of loss that I have. It's hard to recall the sequence of events that day but I can remember feelings and emotions. I remember knowing that something was wrong when I left the babysitters early that day and when my little sister didn't come home that night with my parents. I didn't understand why you weren't around anymore, and I didn't understand why everyone was crying all the time. All my family members came in town, people I had never even met before were giving me hugs and kisses and crying all over me saying things like "oh that poor girl" or "I am so sorry, sweetie."

I didn't know how to react to all these strangers coming up to me like they had known me for my whole life. All the sadness around me was overwhelming at such a young age, and it took me a while to understand what had happened. But, eventually I realized you weren't here anymore, and I missed you.

But now we remember. I think about you every day, and I know that you're always looking down on me. Mom thinks about you too, she even has a foundation in your name to raise money for the prevention of SIDS. Dad is strong, but he remembers you too; it was hard on him, watching you be rushed into the hospital from the ambulance. We remember you in the most subtle ways, but they all mean the most when we miss you.

Even though I didn't get to grow up with you, I know that one day when it is my time too, I'll see you again.