In honor of this month, marking my 3rd year of working in fast food, I would like to give the world seven secrets that every fast food workers wished you knew:
1. The appropriate answer to the question, “How are you?” is not, and never will be any of the following:
“Ketchup!” “No!” “You forgot …” “Hurry up.” I always hear the complaint, “You get paid to serve.” So let us. You don’t have to be an anthropologist to know socials customs in the US. Use them.
2. No, it’s probably not my fault.
The goal for my place of employment is to have a nice interaction with a customer while giving them hot, fresh food, within 120 seconds. Let me tell you, in order for this to be done properly, at least eight people need to be involved. (I say “need” to be involved because often this number is just four people.) That means that there are seven other people that have handled your order, but yes, I am lucky number eight that you get to cuss out for the next minute, making everyone else behind you have to wait even longer than you did.
3. It’s probably your fault.
You probably changed your order five or six times. You’re probably on the phone. You’re probably arguing with your child. You probably ordered something that isn’t served at the restaurant you’re currently ordering from. You probably didn’t even say that you needed something and thought that you did. Just take a second and think, “Did I just make that super complicated? Did I just talk to the automated voice or an actual person?” If so, start over again.
4. Working fast food does not define me.
I am not a thug. I am not uneducated. I am not lazy. Even if I were, is it really helping anything to be yelled at by a stranger? Probably not. Most of the night shift workers are usually in college or saving up for college. Most of us don’t want to raise minimum wage. Some of us have multiple jobs. A lot of workers have very young children. We do work here, but that does not make us who we are.
5. Using my name is creepy.
I’m aware that I’m wearing a name tag. I know that my name is on your receipt. I understand that knowing my name is supposed to enhance customer experience. I don’t care. Including my name in your weird little extra mayonnaise request is just creepy. Every time.
6. “Tracts” are awkward.
Tracts are those little Christian pamphlets that tell you the gospel. I like tracts. I believe that there is a time and place for tracts. The drive thru is not one of them. If you’re a regular, come inside. Talk to the lady at the register. Be nice to her. After a developed relationship, ask her if it’s okay to give her a tract. Better yet, try explaining the gospel yourself. I love evangelism. I am pro-evangelism. I have also worked over 3,000 hours of fast food. Tracts in the drive thru are always awkward.
7. We need encouragement.
Fast food is stressful. Our managers are overworked and underpaid. We get yelled at all day, every day. Often times, you see us at our worst. No one is happy if your drive thru times are at 80 seconds a customer; they only notice if it’s past 200 seconds. There’s this one guy that comes through the drive thru occasionally that always told me, “If no one’s told you yet today, you’re doing a great job.” I can’t even begin to tell you how something so simple means so much.
The thing is, you don’t know the worker. I have made some of my best friends through my three years of fast food. We all have one common ground and that is handling the public at what we hope is their worst. My word of advice before entering the drive thru or the hallowed halls of the golden arches: chill out. It’s just French fries.
