With graduation rapidly tapping its fingers on my door, and the real world walking down my driveway, the hours of sleep I get a week seem to be rapidly depleting. I find myself awake late at night, wondering what will happen when I finally run out of classes to take.
In one of my late night sessions of restless wandering, I stumbled upon a movie on Netflix that I hadn’t seen in years: Akeelah and the Bee. As I watched the movie, I began to finally tire, and it appeared as though I was on the road to Snoozeville.
But then I heard it.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?”
Jimmy Neutron does this thing where he exclaims, “BRAIN BLAST!”, when something clicks in his ginormous head. This next moment was my equivalent to that.
It all made sense. This poem, written by a lady named Marianne Williamson, just cured my insomnia.
My fear was not that I would graduate, and find a job. My fear was not that I would one day find a husband and start a family. Instead, my fear was that I was not prepared for all of the things that were about to hit my life. My fear was rooted in the idea that utilizing my highest potential might make me greater than I could comprehend. My fear was me.
College is comfortable. And after four, or so, years it should be. College is familiar. I know everyone that I care to know, and many that I don’t. But regardless, gone are the days of reciting my name and everything short of a resume to every person I meet. They know me here, and I like that. I love that I am part of a small portion of society that is allowed to make mistakes, and can attribute trial and error to “just being young”. Why would I want to leave my world of spontaneous comfort, to fulfill my fullest potential?
Luckily the aforementioned quote continued.
“You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking,
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”
It’s funny how much a slap in the face can sting at 4 a.m.. But these few sentences managed to break down my thick skull.
“There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”
Translation: “There’s nothing enlightened about hiding your talents and potential behind a wall of Netflix and chill.”
As the quote finished, I felt guilty and motivated, simultaneously.
“We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in one of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”
Whether you’re religious or not, that last portion rings a bell. By taking shelter in my immature, but comfortable, and spontaneous, but fleeting college lifestyle, I short-change not only myself, but also the people around me. By dwelling in my comfort, and things that I can achieve with ease, I narrow the horizon of my future. By being afraid to grow, I hold back those around me who may be patiently awaiting inspiration.
So in this lengthy quote delivered by an anxious African-American girl, in hopes of winning a spelling bee, I found that I could finally breathe.
The future is something that eternally remains uncertain. But the gifts, skills, and unique way you perceive the world is not. Things may go wrong when you hit the real world. In fact, they definitely will. But when you fully utilize what makes you an individual in this massive world of one-of-a-kind’s, then you can’t truly fail. The removal of your inhibitions and fears acts as a catalyst for your surroundings, and that sounds successful to me.
Think of a world in which everyone embraced the thing that makes him or her unique.
Think of a world that achieved amazing things, because no one was afraid to fail.
Think of a world full of people who knew they were powerful beyond measure, and did something about it.
