I would like to start this by saying that if you are easily offended or can’t take a joke please stop reading this until you learn how to be an adult. We started with seventeen Republican candidates and seven Democratic candidates either way you look at it, we’re screwed. Chris Christie, the Republican governor of New Jersey was in the race for a while and I’m quite certain by looking at him this is the only race he’s been in. After dropping out he endorsed Donald Trump for President after they attacked one another during debates. Reporters asked Christie if he still remembered all of the times he and Trump exchanged words and he recalled everything because you know what they say, “An elephant never forgets.” Before this the only thing Chris Christie endorsed was Krispy Kreme. John Kasich, the Governor from Ohio is still in the race for the Republican Primary, but he is way behind so he and Senator Cruz are teaming up to take on Trump. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time Trump has been double teamed by two guys.

Kasich has won one state and that is his home state of Ohio, well that’s one thing he’s got over Marco Rubio. Rubio, a Senator from Florida lost to Trump in his home state of Florida, which is no surprise considering how many people in Florida are orange just like Trump. Ted Cruz, a Senator from the poor excuse for a state of Texas, uses a nickname instead of his real name. His real name is Rafael Edward Cruz, but he goes by the nickname Ted. Oh yeah, whenever I hear the name Rafael the nickname Ted comes into mind. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Ted… Most recently, Ted Cruz announced his running mate will be Carly Fiorina, a former candidate for the Republican nomination. The most recent time a woman was announced as the Republican running mate it was Sarah Palin and right now John McCain is having flashbacks worse than his Vietnam War days. I know what you’re thinking, yes the Republicans are easy to make fun of, but so are the Democrats.

Now, the Democrats are a whole different ball game. As Lewis Black puts it, “The Republicans stood around farting and the Democrats said, ‘Ooh let me smell it.’” Senator Sanders, a Democratic Socialist from the small state of Vermont. He has been re-elected into different political offices over the years which is not really a surprise considering there’s like twelve people in Vermont and four of them are his kids. Now, I love Senator Sanders he has a great record, especially on guns. He has been quoted saying that he has a “D- voting record with the NRA” Well he has an “F” with the public so what’s going on here? Bernie has made big statements like “Free Public College Tuition”, “Expanding Social Security” and “I’m running for President”.

Now, Hillary Clinton is the obvious target here when it comes to the Democrats. She’s been the frontrunner since the start, but I’m just wondering how she keeps winning states. Maybe she’s picked up some habits from Charlie Sheen and his “winning” days. Her supporters are like the Jehovah's Witnesses, every time you see them you try and hide. She has supported President Obama since he first took office back in 2009 which should come as no surprise because you know what they say, “Once you go black…” I’m not personally a fan of Hillary Clinton primarily because she’s flipped on issues and is as fake as Donald Trump’s marriages.