The Rise Of The Socially Awkward Teenagers

The Rise Of The Socially Awkward Teenagers

The movement that no one is talking about.

I have never been to a house party. God willing, I’ll never go to one in my life, but in some ways, I see the appeal. It’s a camaraderie I wish I was extroverted enough to have, but would never actually want. I consider myself an introvert as much as the next introvert, and that’s saying something. I hate to agree with people. It means human interaction. But, here’s the thing: no one in my high school liked an introvert. No one in the family liked an introvert. My friends weren’t introverts. I was totally and completely socially awkward, and everyone hated it. If only the new movement of socially awkward teenagers had been around when I was painfully chugging my way through High School, I might have had a higher GPA.

In 2015, Alessia Cara released the bop-to-the-top (see what I did there: never say I'm not funny) of the charts hit single, “Here.” Cara, from Canada and a teenager herself, sings of “clouds of marijuana” and not being able to “handle what’s in his cup” if you catch her drift. It’s a generational song, which means that it’s doing well, will continue to do well, flop out and then end up in a Buzzfeed list months down the line. I’m sure the list will be titled: “Thirteen Songs For The Introverts Who Don’t Care” or something click-bait like that.

It’s because a lot of teenagers these days are totally introverts and have something to relate to. I can’t even call myself an adult out loud most of the time, but it’s such a foreign thought to be accepted as socially awkward, I feel about fifty. Try as I might, I can’t not get behind the idea of young, awkward teens getting music to relate to like this. “Here” may end up in a Buzzfeed list, but it’s a highlight in an evolving idea that some teenagers don’t like partying, being in large crowds, talking to people in an annoyingly long conversation and sometimes need a break when family gatherings become too much. “Here” accurately puts into words why the idea of a party is so unappealing to certain people that some extroverts were like “Dude, I totally get it.” When they really, really didn't.

There's so much more to the idea of socially awkward than what's on the surface. The medical term is known as "social anxiety" (for the extreme cases), and it is a very debilitating thing to live with. Trust me. It flares up in the most awful times, which for me, is all the time. It rises up like a wave and then drowns me in it. Things like ordering from the drive thru and asking for extra lettuce on a sandwich can cause me so much stress and anxiety that it's just easier to not ask for it. Working a retail job was a nightmare, not only because of constant interaction, but with social anxiety there usually comes the feeling of needing to please. It's almost not worth even having a job, but even those who suffer sometimes just have to deal with it.

I'm never here for the idea of trivializing any disease, but I can only hope that this new found "awkward" movement stage can push us in the right direction. I'm holding out hope that the acceptance of young teens who are suffering at any level will allow for a more supportive environment for teens who are also dealing with depression.

There’s a positive waiting within the movement: a time where socially awkward kids won’t be generalized. Alessia Cara has made her stake in the movement without being artificial about it, while sticking the idea into those who need it: You’re not different, but you’re still cool.

Cover Image Credit: literallydarling

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Opening the Windows of Hypomania

Reality Acceptance

Hypomania.?/h?p??m?n??/ a mild form of mania, marked by elation and hyperactivity.

In November 2017, I was diagnosed with Type two Bipolar Disorder, and it makes all sense. 

It’s just one thing after the other and I get bored after five minutes.

I become more productive 

I feel invincible and can conquer anything. 

I can instantly feel the power and control tingling through my palms and fingertips. 

Hypomania is the best high I ever felt, however there seems to be a misconception that hypomania is a very great and positive thing. 

I do have to admit that I am happier when I am hypomanic and have a huge temptation to accomplish everything. 

While hypomania may seem like sublime highs, there are a lot of challenges that come with them.. 

The one thing that terrifies me the most is the crash that comes after. It feels like you are in this prison, you are never truly free from the illness. 

The racing and obsessive thoughts come to linger fast within your surroundings of your mind. You can't even step out and dance around the orbit of your mind without stumbling. 

The thoughts control your every movement, especially moving forward. 

You feel like you are stuck in this thick tar filled with venom, no chance of escaping it. 

You never get a break from this illness 

You feel like the happiness is plastic, not sturdy, easy to poke through. 

It feels like its fake and lie, but obviously after a depressive episode, you take any source of happiness. You can get to feel human, to feel sane. 

It is hard for me to distinguish my happiness and hypomania, especially when my mind is dependent on the hypomania to feel genuinely happy. I know deep in my heart that is not the answer to happiness. It is extremely essential to find happiness and love within myself in order to build a healthy foundation for myself. 

It is not okay to be dependent on the hypomania to feel happy. 

It is not okay to depend on hypomania to get rid of all of the negative thoughts, feelings, and etc. That's impossible hypomanic or not. 

Thank you for observing the view in front of the windows of hypomania. 

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