I have always thought of myself as the “easy going” type of girl when it comes to relationships. I try to not take up someone’s time, or strive for too much attention. I claim that I hate when guys go above and beyond. I sneer at guys holding open my door, assuring them that I “can do it myself”. I tell guys I hate having them pay for my food or buy me things. I tell them I don’t expect a lot, and I apologize if I ever rant and put my problems on them.

However, I have realized that to uphold this appearance, I have held guys to a lower standard than what I deserve. I don’t want a guy falling all over me, being my personal bank account, or putting me on a pedestal, but I do want a guy who makes me a priority and treats me like one of the most special aspects in his life. I want a guy who goes out of his way to show that he does truly care about me.

I cannot recall where my low expectations for guys began, but I know now that I want a guy who goes beyond all of my expectations. I have never been treated terribly in a relationship, but I have allowed guys to think that they did not have to actively pursue me every single day of our relationship. Every girl deserves to be pursued, and this doesn’t involve the fun chase that often comes with the beginnings of relationship, this involves the entirety of the relationship.

For a long time, I thought the occasional date, the good morning and good night texts, and the “I love you’s” were all that I deserved. I thought that those words and actions were all I was going to get and that I should be satisfied that I had someone who would say and do those things for me. I don’t expect a guy to buy me flowers every day or take me on hot air balloon rides, but I realized that I shouldn’t let a guy wait until I'm on empty and then minimally refuel my expectations.

Saying “I love you” repeatedly is not enough. These words are strong, but they need to be followed by action. I have told guys that, "I know they love me, so they don’t have to try." However, this has left me numb to these words because I’m not sure if they’re actually true. If a guy never makes you feel special, then these words are not holding true. If a guy truly loved you, he would go out of his way to not only tell you, but to show you.

I feel incredibly terrible when guys pay for anything for me. It’s not a pride thing, I just feel that they shouldn't spend their hard-earned money on me. I don’t think a guy should pay for everything, but I have realized that if they offer, they genuinely think I am special enough for them to pay for me.

I’m a busy person, and I know that everyone else is too, so I’ve always tried to avoid being a burden for someone. What I deserve though, is someone who recognizes both of our schedules and makes time for me no matter what. I deserve someone who works through both of our problems together, and never makes me feel as if I’m annoying them or that I am the cause of their problems.

I have always had the viewpoint that you should recognize and encourage others in their goals and passions, but I have never expected that encouragement in return. I deserve someone who has a genuine interest in what I do and want to do. I deserve someone who genuinely delves into my thoughts and feelings and doesn’t merely ask and then change the subject. This automatic dismissal of my feelings is partially my fault, I am the one that usually changes the subject, because I feel like I’m annoying them by talking about myself so much. I love hearing about someone’s life and their thought process, and I realized that I want that in return.

I deserve much more than how I’ve been treated, but that is my fault because I have held guys to a lower standard. I told them how I wanted to be treated, and it was incredibly less than what I deserved. Every girl deserves to be treated as a princess. That’s a typical saying, but in reality, it’s entirely true. To the girls that don’t want to be an “inconvenience” to someone: if someone truly wants to be with you, you will never be an inconvenience, they will want to treat you how you deserve to be treated, no matter the cost.

Never dull the flame inside of you for someone because they can’t handle it.