“College will be the best time of your life.” How many times have you all heard this before? I’ve heard it about 500 times. There’s a lot to look forward to though; you’re starting a new chapter in your life, filled with being stressed out about exams, being happy getting food, or doing homework with your friends. There also can come a feeling of being anxious that this new chapter of your life now includes new chapters of your relationships. Whether that be friends, significant others, or family members.
Well I’m here to tell you what long distance relationships are actually about. Going to a school a state away from your home can be pretty intimidating at first. You’ll be faced with difficult decisions about situations with people back home - questioning whether you want to continue your relationship, or how much time and dedication you both are going to contribute to continue being a part of each others' lives.
The biggest thing to remember if someone you care about is away at school (or vice versa) is communication. Granted, we’re all adults here, and we’re not going to be able to text them everyday or every other day. And that’s perfectly normal. For me, I always text something short and sweet to the people I care about just so they know I’m thinking about them - for example, “miss you.” It doesn’t involve a whole lot of conversation.
When you’re at school, you have a lot on your mind like projects, homework, quizzes, tests, and club meetings; it’s a lot. No one said it was going to be easy as an adult - even adults that are older than most of us say that it probably will never be easy. The key about college is time management. I make it a point to FaceTime or call my boyfriend and parents at least three times a week, just so I’m not entirely missing out on their life. It’s also good to leave some space in between those days too because if you guys talk everyday, there won’t be much to update one another on because you told them everything already. Unless you constantly have new things going on and more to talk about. but I’m just talking from my point of view.
LDR (long-distance relationships) are hard too because when you have a significant other, you want to be around them as much as possible. Even if that means making time every month to come home, even if it’s just for a weekend. I’m sort of an organizing fanatic, so since school started back in August, I’ve known what weekends I’m going home and what weekends I can have some of my favorite people come up. Granted, it’s also more difficult when you live in a dorm because you have to get parking passes for them - which is a whole other story in itself. Basically what I’m saying is just be in the moment because you've got several weeks in-between visits, and it’s going to be hard. Especially those nights you’re sitting in your dorm, thinking about your movie nights with your boyfriend where he always picks an action movie…
Another reality of LDR is trying to make plans with everyone. If you have a somewhat-big friend group, you know what I mean by this. You have to create a huge, big group text to everyone. You have to find out what you guys want to do, what days are good for everyone, and what the “budget” is for everyone. And it’s quite stressful, especially if you’re the one always setting everything up (yup, organizing fanatic again.)
But the best part of LDR is the breaks, when you’re home for longer than 3 days and you can hang out with the people you care about without having to worry about going back to school the next day. Or when you get to watch another action movie with your significant other while eating some type of food (preferably ice cream from Carvel). Overall, you should appreciate the time away from those people because you both grow as people, and distance makes the heart grow fonder.