Where to begin...

I feel like a lot has changed since I graduated back in 2019 with a college degree in marketing. Upon graduating, I was thrown into a post-Covid world that was uncharted territory and something that no one my age had ever experienced. To add to that, trying to navigate post-college life with finding a job, moving out of my parents and building a life that gave me joy were all on my to-do list. Now I get it, college could not prepare me for Covid as no one could. But, there were a few other things I wished I had learned sooner rather than later to prepare me for what lay ahead.

10. Outgrowing People

People are a lot like flowers. We all start together, some blooming later than others, until we all blossom into the flower we were meant to be, with different colors and patterns. At first, we somewhat all look the same. We have fragile, petite stems and we are fighting to make it through the dirt with uncertainty until we come out into the world to showcase our individuality. To me, this is a lot like entering the real world. We have had the foundation to grow through our own dirt and external environment, to mold us into the person we are now. Our perception is our reality, and as a result, we outgrow certain people because they do not meet us where we are now. Our hobbies, values, they way we live our lives day to day, all lead us to the garden of people that help us thrive. If someone is bringing us down, ruining our own inner peace, and causing us to question what truly matters, it might be time to re-access that person in our lives. Whether that is a family member, a friend, or partner, it is important to acknowledge it is normal to outgrow people and gracefully distance ourselves. We should not have to feel guilty for protecting our own happiness and growth. Trust me, I get it.

9. Discovering the Inner Child

Lately, I have been seeing the "Inner child" therapy method. According to Betterup.com, "Inner child work is an approach to recognizing and healing childhood trauma. It recognizes that our behaviors as an adult stem from our childhood experiences. Inner child work focuses on addressing our unmet needs by reparenting ourselves." To me, the importance of finding our buried wounds and seeing how they impact us in our professional and personal life post-college scream important to me. Not only is post-college life learning to deal with multiple personalities but also learning how to control the waves of stress that hit us due to larger responsibilities. When we recognize our adult fears that we had as a child and the patterns we have created in response to those fears, we can heal ourselves leading to a more fulfilling life. Inner child activities include writing letters to our childhood selves, taking time to do things we used to enjoy, re-reading books from childhood, looking at old pictures, and being creative. For me, I created a Spotify playlist titled "Home" that is a collection of wonderful songs my parents listened to with me growing up that I have now rediscovered in my adult years.

8.The Degree is Not Everything

This one holds true for so many people. In fact, "more than half of college graduates over the age of 25 don't work in their field of study, according to a new survey from Intelligent.com." The idea that we have to major in something and get a job in that field is just bogus to me. Part of my brain picks at the fact that that is just part of the money scam of college. Where we have to follow a structured ladder consisting of general education courses, electives, pre-requisite courses, and ultimately our core major classes to win the golden degree. If I had a flower to pick for all the times I have not used my college degree in my current job, I would have a bouquet. See the thing is, society ingrains in us that we have to follow the corporate ladder. Do what everyone else is doing and we will be happy. That is just not the case. Follow your passion and stray away from the common path. You could have multiple jobs doing something you love or do something so completely abstract that you wonder why you ever got the degree you did in the first place. At the end of the day, if you are able to balance your income and a lifestyle you enjoy, that is good enough.

7. Different Life Chapters

When I read a book, I can't wait to get to the next chapter. What will happen? Who will end up with who? Does that character get the dream job they had hoped for? It is exciting to see what the future holds and eagerly rush through the pages barely grasping the words on each page. But sometimes, we forget that some chapters are longer than others and we can't always skip to the next chapter as fast as we had hoped. A lot of variables and events can happen in one chapter that slow us down to the next chapter. Now I don't mean "slow down" in a negative way, but in a way where we are at moving at a pace that life wants us to take. Just because Lucy is recently engaged and planning her wedding does not mean I have to be right there too. We are all in a different and lovely chapter making our way through our own personal experiences. Social media does not aid in this unfortunately and most humans compare other people's lives to theirs like no tomorrow. All I can say is, enjoy the chapter, enjoy the moments that come with it, and live in the present.

6. Communication Skills

I had to put this one on the list. Partly due to covid and partly due to phone use. The way communication has shifted over the years is really interesting to me. With the popularity of remote work, zoom calls, texting, snapping, tweeting, zapping, tapping you name it, we got something to do other than actually talk to each-other face to face. The art of asking questions and engaging in personal conversation is not as exciting as it used to be now that we have phones. People get on zoom calls and make awkward "small talk" which feels forced because we can't pick up on people's natural body cues and facial expressions as easily. Many people have lost what it is to have a flowing conversation. In post-college life, I have noticed the more I talk to others and make connections, the easier it is to feel more present and have more opportunities. Having good communication skills allows us to have better trust with people, better relationships, engagement, team building and handling conflict. By building relationships with people at work, at extracurriculars, and with family and friends, I have been able to have a much more fulfilling life.

5. Saying No

Saying "no" is a powerful thing. People do not usually like the word no. We live in a "yes" culture that wants everything right now with a touch of a button. For the people pleasers like myself, this can be hard. I will say yes, yes, and yes to many things all planned in the same day only to realize I really did not want to do any of it. Is important we learn to start saying "no" when we do not want to do something. If a friend wants to grab coffee and you had a late night of working, maybe the last thing you want to do is get up early and grab coffee. Learning to say no and do it in a kind way is key. One could say something like, "I appreciate you inviting me to coffee but I am just so burned out from the week. Could we plan next Saturday?" This is a polite way of showing you still care about seeing the person but making it known that you just need time for yourself. Don't over explain why you cannot hangout. Keep it short and simple. If someone is a true friend they will understand and not pressure you as to why you cannot hangout. Realizing not everything needs an explanation and giving a simple "no" is a powerful tool to have in your toolbox.

4. Finding Community

The great thing about college is we were all one community. We had clubs, classes, sports, and social events all together. When we graduate, it feels a little bit like we have been stripped of the instant community we had been gifted when we went to school. Now what? This one many of my friends feel and struggle with. Finding a community post college is indeed much harder but it is certainly possible. What is it that you really enjoy? Maybe that is a church group, gym class, book club, choir group, or even a comic book fanatic club. If you were involved in one of these groups in college or did something else, do some digging about what is happening in or around your local town. Facebook pages, Meetup.com, Nextdoor.com, flyers at local libraries or gyms are all some of the great resources to jump into. Hey, even Bumble BFF has been awesome for many of my friends finding community. Instead of using the app for dating, Bumble BFF allows you to meet people with similar interests and hobbies. I even indirectly met one of my closest friends through the app, so I consider you giving it a try. It will push you out of your comfort zone and allow you to get better at putting yourself out there!

3. Living at Home

When you are in college, you finally have the independence you wanted for for so long. You are away from the rules and can pretty much do whatever you want. Then you graduate and find yourself back where you were before college, oops. It is a weird transition. For those that move out right after college to their own parentless place, that is awesome and I am rooting for you! There is in fact an expectation to have your own place and be successful on your own without your parents post-college. When I graduated college and moved back home it made me sad and like I had failed. I felt like I has lost my independence. But, I am here to challenge you after living at home how it was one of the best things I could have ever done. There are way more people living at home with their parents than we realize. The amount of money I saved was unreal. With rent prices as high as they are, this was a true game changer that set me up for financial success. I also got home cooked meals all the time and who does not love that? I learned to have a grateful mindset when my mom would ask me where I was going or what time I would be home. To have someone love you that much is truly a blessing. Even though I was irritated I would take a moment to realize how many people do not have people that care like that. We do not realize how much people love us and we so often take it for granted. I was also able to reconnect and share more experiences with my parents again after being away for so long. As much as living at home can drive us crazy, there is still a silver lining especially as our loved ones get older.

2. Checking Mail Regularly

Now when I say check your mailbox I do not mean check your internet inbox, I mean check your physical mailbox. For a while I did not give much thought to checking mail unless I was awaiting something I knew was going to be sent to me. Now, I try and check it weekly to see if there are any important bills that were sent because companies do not always send mail notifying that something is past due or that you forgot to pay for xyz. Oops. A lot of times we are quick to throw away what we think is junk mail or mail that does not contain anything important. My advice is to always open your mail and read it because you never know if there is important information in it. For example, I get mail from my bank showing my past monthly statements. I will keep these types of documents in a folder for future purposes like doing taxes.

1. Seeing Loved Ones When You Can

I debated for a while on what to put for my number one point. I sat here and tried to think of something so uniquely different but I struggled to come up with what that would be. I thought long and hard only to realize that my number one point was such a blatantly obvious thing, "see loved ones when you can." Post-college life is exciting and can be filled with wonderful adventures, great friends, heart pumping dates, promotions at jobs, and everything in between. It is easy to get wrapped up in it all. Like the quote goes, "time flies when you are having fun", and it really does fly when you are having fun. Sadly, I wish many memories in my life had been frozen in time so I could cherish the moments a little longer and hold onto the loved ones in them. The ancient greek philosopher Theophrastus puts it best, "time is the most valuable thing a man can spend." Time cannot be stopped or reversed. We all continue to age and grow older with no empathy from Mr. Time. I look at my parents, now in their 60's, and remember when it feels like just yesterday we were all going to a Houston Astros game to celebrate my grandpa's 70th birthday. All the family was there and we had rented out a box for the baseball game. I could see the train whistle around the edges of the Astrodome and all my family was happily together. It was a wonderful memory. Not too long after that celebration, my grandpa passed away. The key to this final point is celebrate the big and small moments with family because we are all getting older. We never know when our time is up. Make sure to fully enjoy the moments in the present with loved ones so in the future when we look back we aren't wishing we had done more.