Dear Domino's,

I am sorry that we can't do this in person. I don't even know where to start. We've had a lot of history. I've known you since my early years of high school. I remember the first time that I ever ordered you. I was sitting at home in the middle of the night and my best friend brought you into the room. In that first bite, I knew that we would be great together and you'd be around for a while and here we are all of these years later.

We've had our ups and downs. Mostly you because you are only subpar pizza, but that isn't your fault. I am writing this letter to break things off. I've always had a special place for you in my heart, but more importantly, in my stomach. I have to be honest with you. You aren't the best pizza in the world. You don't have the best qualities, you don't have the best prices, you don't have the best taste, but you, my friend, were always there for me.

You were with me through the roughest nights. I know that I can call you at all hours of the night and you'll always be there to comfort me. Some nights I have to wait up for you for hours, but you always come. My friends say that I am crazy and they're right — I am crazy about you and your Lava Cakes at 2 a.m. We need space, though. You've hurt me. I have gained weight just thinking about you. I don't get much sleep anymore because of your sugary desserts.

I've spent all my money on you. I've spent too much energy ordering you. You just aren't healthy for me and I'm done. I want us to be on good terms, though. I am OK with my friends continuing to order you and sure, once in a while, you will see me. However, what we have here can't be serious anymore.

Thank you for understanding. I will always love you.

Sincerely,

Nelly