Over this long weekend, I decided to visit my home friends at their college. I was excited to see my friends and to be able to experience a larger school and what it has to offer. Unfortunately, I was utterly shocked at the culture differences between my small school and this more sizable state university. At this university, attending parties is based upon the ratio of girls to boys in your group. For most fraternities and sports parties, the ratio is 2:1, and everyone holds very true to these numbers. If you are a boy who doesn’t have an accurate girl to boy ratio, you either don’t go out or you wait around outside for any random group of girls for you to try to latch onto.
As a group of six girls, we attracted a lot of attention from boys who wanted to go out, but needed to improve their ratio. It didn’t matter who we were, where we were going, or even what our names were, we were simply seen as a ticket into a party. Every block or so, we were approached by a different group of boys that we had to politely deflect in order to get to our destination safely and quickly. Some groups respected this, while others took an extremely different approach. In one instance, we were followed by boys who wouldn’t take our 'no' for an answer. They then proceeded to shout at us from across the street, calling us derogatory names that I have never before been called in my life.
I was completely astounded by this behavior but I hoped that it was an isolated incident. However, even after arriving at the party, I realized that some of the boys there also had a hard time being told 'no.' I declined a boy's offer to dance and was looked straight in the eyes and told to go "f*** myself." I was grabbed while waiting for a drink and when I told the boy to stop, I was called a b*tch. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that at this university, and in way more places and situations than I would like to admit, girls are seen as objects, simply tickets into a party. This only reinforces the idea that boys can use any girl as he pleases, and if you are a girl and don’t accept this, then you're a "b*tch."
I wish this was a remote problem to one particular school, but unfortunately it is not. Across the country, universities adhere to this exact system and are consequently breeding young men that think it is acceptable to objectify women to get what they want. Why shouldn't they think this way? The more women used as currency, the better the ratio and therefore, the better the reward. I have no doubt that all of the disrespectful boys I encountered this weekend had no idea that they were further perpetuating this objectification of women. And that scares me.
Universities should be the place where young men and women are able to educate themselves academically, as well as socially. Universities should shape people and teach them moral lessons so that they can graduate as more cultured, intelligent people. However, this ratio culture, and the message it sends to both men and women, instills ideals that set us generations back in terms of gender equality. This cannot continue.
Everyone should be able to enjoy themselves at a party, meet new people, and end their night with their self-respect intact. At my school, for a few dollars at the door, everyone, no matter their gender, can equally take part in partying. Never again will I stick my nose up at having to pay for a party because I now know the alternative and the impact it has on our society. No human being should ever be treated as an object; we are all equally important to society and we need to start treating each other as such.
