How To Understand What it Means To Be Single
Start writing a post
Relationships

How To Understand What it Means To Be Single

What we are thinking about in our singleness but no one wants to say.

16
How To Understand What it Means To Be Single
Kaylee Nungaray

Do you ever find yourself scrolling through countless articles about being single, or telling you how to wait for the “perfect one,” and it causes your mind to start racing, feeling all sorts of emotions; anger, sadness, beginning to feel lonely, or not being good enough. And you then begin to go through every flaw about you that you can possibly think of in your head, as insecurity starts to just rush over your mind.

Maybe I am still single because I expect too much from a guy, or because my standards are too high. Maybe it is because I love too hard and they see it as desperate. Maybe it is because I worry too much. Maybe I am still single because some days I don’t even try at life, and just walk out in a shirt two sizes too big and a pair of leggings that smelled clean enough to wear to class. Or maybe I am still single because I want a guy to love me for me, not because I give him what he wants physically.

For the one out there who clicked on this article because you too are wondering the same thoughts, going through your own flaws and imperfections, keep reading please…and STOP CRITICIZING YOURSELF!

You are where you are right now for a reason…being single and everything. You are supposed to be here and there is a reason behind it.

Believe me, I know this is not what you want to hear. It is not at all what I want to hear, either. In fact, last night I found myself home alone, laying on my living room floor, crying, tears falling and telling God I was done. I physically was talking (probably closer to shouting) and telling God out loud that I was done with being in this state of singleness. I was mad, lonely, and feeling sadness all at once as I laid there, done.

But see the thing is, it just doesn’t quite work that way…you can’t exactly tell God what to do. We can’t just boss Him around because ultimately He is going to keep with His plan. (And it is probably good He does, because He always knows best!)

Annoying answer I know…the last thing you want to hear in another “being single” article is about God having a plan for our life and being single…

And though ultimately that answer stands true, I understand that you have heard that answer more than a dozen times and you don’t want to read another article where that is all they tell you to make you feel better.

But see just don’t exit this article quite yet…

See last night, only moments after my cry fest on the floor, telling God what to do, I received a phone call from my roommate. Her boyfriend had just broken up with her. And so like most girls, our night was followed by lots of tears, hugs, and one sleepless night of a sleepover in her room.

I began to hurt for her as I saw tears stream down her face, remembering I was there once as well. And all of a sudden all those feelings of hurt and confusion rushed over me and I felt like my heart was breaking a bit, too. And in that moment I knew God was using this break up to put me back in my place from my previous conversation I had with him, on the living room floor only minutes before.

I realized this was God opening my eyes to the fact that I am single right now for a reason. There is a purpose for where I am at currently. And I knew this was His way of telling me.

I struggle so much sometimes with not being able to understand God and Him intensions for me. I know that daily He is continuing to shape and use me in my singleness, but as human’s, sometimes that is a hard concept for our minds to grasp. And if you are anything like me, you may struggle in this same way.

And you know that is okay. It is normal to struggle from time to time; to feel lonely or sad. But we cannot stay in that state of mind. We cannot continue to wallow in our sadness, just waiting for the day we meet “the one.”

We can’t continue to just wish our singleness away, hoping that one day maybe that wish will come true. We have to take action. We were called by God in our singleness. And though, at times it may not seem like it, God is working in and through you.

So be patient with Him and listen to what He has for you. Focus your eyes on the Lord, not on man. Because if we continue to love God first and foremost, one day he will introduce you to a man who is doing the same.

Whether you are single right now and have been for a week, a month, or multiple years, I can assure you that God has a purpose for you and for your time of singleness. So enjoy this time to grow closer to Him and wait for His plan to play out.

I promise it will be worth it. I know waiting is hard…I am waiting, too. But hang tight…one day it will happen.

So in the meantime, continue to rock being the third wheel with your best friend and her boyfriend. Take advantage of your free time to better your relationship with God, and begin to be intentional about life.

I’m not saying being single will be easy all the time. You will have your hard days…believe me, I have them, too! But know that there is purpose behind this state of singleness right now. I promise!

(Now don’t worry my roommate and her boyfriend were back together within 12 hours and life is all fine and dandy again for them! So there is a happy ending to my story!)

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

49508
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

31520
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

955147
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

180372
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments