I began my first semester of college during the fall of 2015 and I dove into the semester head first. I did so many things that I never would before starting college. At this time, my roommate and I got along quite well, but that would soon change. At first, everything was carefree and fine; I was happy and making many close friends. I was lucky enough to end up in a dorm hall where all of us living on the floor became very close very fast, and for the most part, we got along extremely well. The first few weeks everything was going great. I had awesome friends and I loved my classes and the professors that taught them. I would soon find out there would be many obstacles to face. I attended a school where most of the students were extremely into the party scene and there wasn’t much else to do on the weekends, and with the parties came a lot of pressure that I never imagined I would feel.

In this day and age, underage drinking is becoming more and more frequent. It is very rare to attend a college and meet someone that doesn’t drink, smoke, or party hard. I am one of those rare people that never drank, experimented with substances, or gone out and partied like crazy. Now this isn’t meant to offend anyone that does this. Most of my closest friends have done one or another of these things from time to time. You have to understand that being me on the weekends was a little rough. I always struggled with what to do. Do I go out to the parties with my friends even though I think it’s boring, or do I sit in the dorm alone? I ended up doing a little bit of both. Usually, my friends and I would spend a night in blasting music in the dorm and the next night they would go out and once in a blue moon I would join them.

After a few months, the alcohol and partying were beginning to affect my life. Not in the sense that I was changing because I drank, but because it was slowly ruining my friendships with the people to which I was closest. It got to the point where my friends were drinking sometimes three to four out of seven nights every week. It put a strain on my relationships with them because I started to worry, but it didn’t matter what I thought. All of my closest friends were in my major, which made it very hard to branch out and distance myself from them without making it awkward. The role that alcohol was playing in my life started to really stress me out. I would call my mom at least one night each weekend crying because I wanted to transfer and get away from all the stress and frustration.

I ended up finishing the semester planning on going back to the same college. I felt like having a month for Christmas break would be good, putting distance between me and the people with which I was having trouble. Going back and starting my spring semester for the first day I felt really good. I was happy to see all my friends. Then the anxiety hit me. Nothing had changed with my friends, I was already stressed about my classes, and I decided I no longer wanted to be in my major.

I ended up taking the semester off, even after being given several options. It wasn’t the smartest choice I could have made, and looking back on it now I have so many regrets because I let the pressure and anxiety rule my decisions, but I also learned more about what I want from my college experience. I know that wherever I attend next I need to branch out more and make some friends that don’t need to consume alcohol to have a good time. All in all, I wouldn't change anything, especially the time I did spend with my friends. I learned so much from them and I couldn't have asked to have better people with which to spend my first semester of college, and just because someone enjoys drinking or partying doesn't make them a bad person, I just need to find my own group that fits my lifestyle.