Last year, I received an interesting piece of college mail amidst the usual “Check Out Our School!” crap. One single word was featured: doubt. The full message? “Embrace Your Doubt.” As a cocky senior, thinking she had seen it all, I scoffed at the message and the marketing team at the mystery school.
“How stupid!” I thought. College was supposed to be about gaining your convictions, eliminating your fears and now a school was telling me to embrace my doubts? The message seemed far-fetched and unnecessary and consequently, I put it aside.
Little did I know, that mystery school would become my future alma mater.
As I look back on that first encounter with the mantra, I have to chuckle--my overly-confident self could not see past her own ego to internalize the idea.
Doubt is a peculiar thing, I’ve learned. It’s the closest thing we have to a mental life vest, yet it’s also the root of all dangerous discoveries. Doubt is a catalyst for change; it’s a safeguard against risky situations and it’s a motive to think.
Think about the doubt of the potency of institutions, for instance. Any naturally curious person would investigate these discrepancies a bit further, perhaps uncovering some flaw in the system that could be patched.
Think of self-doubt. Doubt of one own’s abilities makes one more mindful of them. It’s only by seeing our faults that we can start to better them. As depressing as that might sound, when we look objectively at our faults and imperfections, we see best where we can improve and better ourselves in the process.
Do not be mistaken, though, the power of doubt can lead to some pretty dark places if one is not careful enough to see the light. With every glitch in a system, there is something wonderful that it accomplishes. Every personal fault is outshined by a million other perfections, which you must remember to acknowledge.
Doubt is a catalyst for change, both personally and in our world, but it is not meant to be an excuse to criticize anything that may pass. There’s a delicate balance to maintain, between being in harmony and being in construction. Doubt of what is assumed of true, though, can lead into serious, scholarly inquiry into a topic, by which we can discover more than we could previously see.
I now treasure that piece of college mail that I was too presumptuous to discard. I’m so thankful to have chosen a school that allows me to embrace my doubt, to question what is taken as true and to explore more than I could ever have imagined. I now realize that adages are meant to be reworked, facts are meant to be checked and rabbit holes are meant to be peered down if one is brave enough to doubt.
