The dictionary definition of divorce is the ending of a marriage by a legal process or a complete separation between two things. Society has created a different definition and has placed a negative stereotype on the subject. Many people do not believe divorce is a good thing financially or emotionally. In my experience, divorce has been the best thing that has happened to me. I am not saying that everyone's experience with divorce ends in good terms. All I am saying is that it is not entirely bad either.
I can vividly remember some of the fights that my parents were having when I was just three years old. It was the months before the divorce that were bad. The toxic environment would only grow if my parents had decided to stay together. Children can experience more problems when their parents remain in a high-conflict marriage instead of splitting up. When they agreed to get a divorce, it was not messy by any sense of the imagination.
People view divorce as a loss and a destruction of family. In reality, I have gained more from my parents divorce than I have lost. Sure, I never grew up in a home where my parents lived together and I had siblings that knew exactly how I feel. In the darkness of the time, I have gained a new family. I have four sets of grandparents on either side and two sets of great grandparents. I have two step siblings from my dad's marriage and three half siblings from my mom's first marriage and two step siblings from her second marriage. I have cousins and step cousins. My family is so large and expanded now. Bigger families also mean bigger holidays and more people to appreciate and love. They also become a big support system and the more people banded together, the more love I get. To think if my parents had stayed in a toxic marriage I would have never met these amazing people that are apart of my family.
Another gain I have gotten from my parents divorce is having two houses. As a kid, I had two spaces that I could call my own. I had two different backyards I could run around and play in. I had two different beds I could sleep in. Even as I grew up I could go between houses in a short fifteen minute drive. I did not see my parents any less than I normally would have. Not to mention a different place to stay if my angsty teenage self was mad at one or the other. Maybe having only one home would have saved me some plane tickets and gas money, but I always thought the change in scenery was good.
I believe my parents made the right decision to get a divorce. They figured what was bad in their life and what they should change. Getting a divorce was not an ending, but a beginning for something better. Sure, my parents are not together, but they do not have to be to love me. They have both found people who make them happy. They learned what real love is without having to be in a forced marriage. I get to see my parents love in ways they would not have if they stayed together. Where they are in their life gives me joy. Of course there were bad times, but the good outweighs the bad exponentially. I am beyond happy with my family the way it is and in the end my happiness is all my parents ever really wanted anyways.
